When I started this blog in 2002, it was a diary of a young wife exploring the intricacies of sex and marriage. My man and I wanted to defy stereotypes of what marriage was supposed to be and redefine it according to our needs. We threw ourselves into edgy situations. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes we got hurt. Lessons in life and love are rarely dealt without pain. Through it all I blogged about it. I wrote about hot steamy sex and I wrote about loss. That blog is now archived, and still ongoing in MAYCAM, a private website for members only.
I made the decision to make it private because I want to know that I am in the company of friends when I lay out intimate details of my personal life. If you have been here before, then you know what to expect. A small token of your esteem lets me know that you are more than a casual observer perusing my pleasure and pain apathetically. I want to know that you consider my secrets a bit of a treasure.
(And by secrets, I mean my ass. Just kidding. Actually, not really. Moving on…)
MayLingSu.com is now the home of my erotic book series about a powerful and mysterious character that has been stripped from one of the oldest stories ever written. The first volume, Lilith: Queen of the Demons, is my way of patching up the gaping hole in the first three chapters of the book of Genesis with elements from The Midrash, Hasidic tales, and The Alphabet of Ben Sira, a Persian or Arabic text published in the 11th century. In it, Lilith stood as an equal to man, defied the patriarchal world that God wanted her to live in, and became an archetype of badness to scare anyone seeking to explore the murky depths of sex.
The second volume, Lilith: Generations of Cain, opens Lilith up to the ancient world at large as she shimmies her way through Sumerian, Babylonian, and Akkadian tales. She continues her badassery in the name of love and forms the most awe-inspiring pussy posse to ever storm the underworld. Lilith: Generations of Cain is coming soon.
I will be posting excerpts from my books, flash erotic fiction, and a good dose of mischief. By popular demand, I’m bringing back contests with prizes. And if you subscribe to my blog, I will post an occasional password-protected entry containing excerpts from MAYCAM exclusively for subscribers. Deal?
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For Donald Trump’s eighteenth birthday, the she-demon Satrina, who appeared as his college advisor, instructed him to bring her a goat as part of his final exam. He ran around the hot streets of the Bronx, down to Chinatown and Alphabet City, all the way out to Brooklyn and Queens. Just when he had given up and was on his way back, he finally found a makeshift petting zoo at Union Square.
The young goat was surrounded by children giggling and rubbing their fat fingers in the goat’s fur. Donald whipped out a wad of cash and negotiated with the stocky Mexican man tending to the animals. The man wouldn’t budge.
“No, la cabra not for sale. For children, see?”
It was two-thirty in the afternoon and he had no time to dicker. He kicked the Mexican man in the groin, pushed the children aside, and grabbed the goat. He ran. He could hear children wailing, mothers screaming.
One of them yelled, “Police!”
He kept running as the goat bleated into his ear. He headed for a stopped yellow taxi. An old woman with a cane was carefully lifting her leg into the cab. Donald pulled her and threw her to the curb. He got into the backseat with his stolen goat and slammed the door shut.
“The Bronx!” he ordered. The driver looked at Donald’s red sweaty face, looked at the whining goat, and drove away, leaving behind a beat cop scratching his head, holding a pad of paper and pen, surrounded by the Mexican man, mothers holding toddlers, and onlookers pointing toward the fleeing taxi and the old woman bedraggled on the sidewalk.
At three o’clock on his eighteenth birthday, Donald ran into his college advisor’s office in Fordham with the goat in his arms.
Satrina stood by the window in her office. Her black hair fell shiny and full down to her tiny waist. Her eyes shined like black diamonds.
Donald hadn’t yet caught his breath. His face turned even redder. After all the trouble of bringing her a goat, he wanted to scream.
“I will not tolerate tardiness in my apprentice, Donald Trump. You’re fired.”
Anger turned into fear. Donald’s face went from red to white. The stupid goat kept fussing in his arms.
“No, no, please,” he begged. “The goat. I got you a goat. It wasn’t easy.”
“Easy? Did you think it would be easy? Of course it wasn’t easy. If it was easy, everyone would win. Everyone would be president.”
“Please, I’ll do anything,” Donald fell to his knees. “Please take me back, I beg you.”
Satrina walked away. Donald followed her, still carrying the goat with him. They entered University Church. It was dark and empty. Satrina walked up to the altar and turned to Donald. She took the goat, and for the first time the goat was quiet.
“Prove yourself to me.” Satrina handed Donald a knife with an ornately carved handle. He took the knife with shaking hands. “You know what to do.”
He focused his eyes on hers. Her face was shrouded in shadow but colored light came in through gothic stained glass windows to illuminate her eyes. She held the goat and exposed its neck to him. That poor little lop-eared goat. Its fur was so white, its nose so pink. It stuck its soft pink tongue out and licked Satrina’s finger as she held its head up.
He did it. He slit the goat’s throat. It kicked against her as she sucked on its blood.
“Quickly!” she spat at him as she handed him back the dying goat. “Drink!”
Donald sucked. He felt a surge of power in his veins. The metallic taste of blood electrified from the center of his body to the tips of his limbs. He felt a roar well up in his throat. The goat’s kicking slowed until it stopped. She pulled the dead goat off his mouth and kissed him.
They sucked blood off each other’s mouths. She laid the sacrifice down on the altar, pulled Donald’s pants down, and pulled her black pencil skirt up over her thighs.
“Fuck me,” she ordered.
“Fuck my ass! Desecrate this altar with sodomy.”
She crouched on all fours and stretched her back like an animal. He mounted her, rammed his cock into her wet cunt.
“My ass, you numbskull!” she demanded. “Fuck my ass!”
He pulled out of her dripping cunt and pushed his lubricated cock into the tight pursed mouth of her anus.
“Yesss!!!” Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, her breathy voice mumbled phrases in Hebrew, Latin, Greek, Farsi. He fucked into her until he emptied himself into her thirsting ass.
“I love you…” he cried. His voice sounded like the bleating of a dying goat.
Through the years, she guided him with every business deal, every property purchase, every decision. With her instruction, he built every Trump Tower the world over with a sub-basement.
“Your very own entrance to Sitra Ahra, where you rejuvenate your energy,” she said. No matter where in the world he is, he could come to the sub-basement of a Trump Tower, and there she would be. He never questions it. With his trust in her grows his wealth and power.
His prior marriages ended because his wives questioned his daily disappearances at three in the afternoon. Those wives did not know their place, and they had to be done away with.
Donald’s devotion is only to one. Satrina, the true Miss Universe, to whom the most beautiful women all over the world pay homage.
“My queen.” She never ages. She remains in the fullness of her beauty from the moment he met her to this moment, when he kneels naked in front of her, an aging multi-billionaire.
She digs her high heel deeper into his shoulder and pulls him toward her exposed cunt. Donald plants his mouth around her swollen clitoris and suckles like a babe. She grips his head by his hairsprayed hair and rubs the sensitive folds of her cunt around his swirling tongue. He inhales her deeply. He fills his every molecule with her. He drinks her eternal juices. She writhes and shudders with pleasure, then pushes him away from her.
“I want you to build me a large structure that extends all the way across America. Above ground it will be a wall, a border between the United States and Mexico. Underground it will be the biggest gate to Sitra Ahra.”
“Your wish is my command, my queen. When I am President…”
Let me take you to another world, a world created completely by my words and my voice. I want to take the intimacy between writer and reader to the next level. Let me make love to you aurally. Let’s explore Eden together. Explore the sensual world in your head. Listen to Lilith discovering the mysteries of sex, the forbidden fruit, and her free will. Let me touch you with wild abandon, make you feel how I feel, possess your soul… for a little over three and a half hours.
I love the entire process of recording and producing audio books. Narrating brings me back to my beginnings as an actress. Finding each character’s voice and making her come alive brings me so much joy. In addition to embodying Lilith and Eve, as well as other female characters in the story, I get to perform characters I would never physically be able to: Adam, a charming male demon, a fat demon, a tall demon, the Judeo-Christian God the Father… the possibilities are endless in the audio book world.
Happy Lupercalia, my magical friends! Happy Valentine’s Day to you, muggles!
If I were in ancient Rome, I’d be hiding from the half-naked men wearing goatskins and running around the city striking breeders for fertility. The last time the Year of the Monkey came around I conceived my child in February. Not looking to do that this time around. I love being a mother, but I’m happy with one, thank you.
I’m really excited about giving birth to my book series, Lilith. I’m giving away FREE Kindle downloads of Lilith: Queen of the Demons on February 14, midnight to midnight Pacific Time.
Going out on a date? Download the free Amazon Kindle app on your smartphone, download Lilith: Queen of the Demons, and whisper my naughty nothings into your lover’s ear as a prelude to some wicked fuckery.
Flying solo, demon? Every time you turn a page imagine me responding to your touch, aroused and dreamy in your tender hands. Make love to me, dear reader, one page at a time.
Love, Lust, & Liberty,
One month down, the days are flying by. How are you doing with your New Year’s Resolutions? According to folklore we’re supposed to break all of our resolutions by Twelfth Night, which was January 6. Apparently, we would bore the gods if we actually succeeded in our goals for the year. I say it depends on what your resolutions are.
If it is, as mine is, to be like Lilith, bolder in living, loving and learning, there might yet still be some entertainment left for the gods.
I often sign off with “Love, Lust, & Liberty,” and I do that because I truly wish it for you and for me. Sometimes, though, Love, Lust & Liberty seems so elusive. When it does manifest in life, it is so ephemeral. We catch glimpses of them, maybe feel as if we have them in the moment, and then as time passes, we find ourselves missing them. Missing the Love, the Lust, the Liberty.
What we do have always is desire and fear. Desire is that which we want (the very essence of wanting it means we don’t have it, we are left wanting). And then there is fear, the threat of danger or pain. Sometimes the object of our desire and our fear is one and the same.
My life is lived within the tension between desire and fear. I want it, I fear it. Or rather, I fear rejection, or exposure, or humiliation, or more tangibly, a backlash toward me and my loved ones from my community, if I was exposed as one who has such a deviant desire. But oh, I want it! I desire so much to live, to be free, to love, to lust, to be liberated, and to liberate.
So I walk the tightrope between my desire and my fear. Often, fear dominates, and I live a life less than. I tone down my desires, muffle it, put the fire out. I pretend I don’t want it. I convince myself it doesn’t matter to a life well lived. I disassociate. My fear cuts me off from my desire. I accept everything that is thrown at me. Boredom, violence, work, inundation. I get to work. I see everything as work. My duty.
I feel blessed that the person closest to me is a squeaky wheel crying out for me to live, to take the leap with him, to take initiative. Desire wins for a moment, but always in the context of approval. Is this okay? Am I still okay? I haven’t lost you, have I?
I should more often and more adamantly ask myself the same question:
I haven’t lost me, have I?
I wish I could say that I kicked off the year with a bold new me that, like Lilith, is bigger than my fears. I didn’t. Every initiative I took toward my desire was awkward, nervous, weird. I completely lose my cool when I’m around someone I find sexually attractive. I ramble like a fool. I walk away wanting to kick myself in the head. But it’s still better to exercise those nerve endings and put myself out there than to play it safe.
Fortune favors the bold. Take a deep breath, keep calm and boldy go.
Love, Lust, & Liberty,
Hangout on Air with me as I read excerpts from my erotic novel, Lilith: Queen of the Demons, on Tuesday January 12 at 4:30 pm Eastern.
See you soon!
A box? For me? It’s like the holidays all over again. Lilith: Queen of the Demons has arrived in paperback form. You know I’m all about the scarlet cover design, right? Call me old-fashioned but a book just isn’t a book until it’s on paper.
I’m so excited about this first box of books, I’m offering signed paperbacks for sale. This ships Priority Mail within the US and First Class Mail everywhere else.
Some of you may have caught me on Periscope on Monday. It was fun! I’d like to do it again. I love reading books, and love reading them aloud. Get all dressed up sexy, relax, read a few pages from my book, maybe have a contest and give a book away as a prize.
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook to get updates on when I’m live on Periscope. You can also check on this little button below. It should say “live” when I’m on. If you miss me, you can catch a replay of the broadcast up to 24 hours after.
This is me on Periscope –> @maylingsu
I’m back in the studio, recording the audiobook version of Lilith: Queen of the Demons. So if you don’t get to catch me at any of my online readings, I’ll soon have an audiobook available for you to listen to.
Love, Lust, & Liberty,
For centuries Lilith was depicted as an archetype of the negative side of woman. According to legend, she dominated Adam, left Eden of her own volition, and refused to return despite threats from angels sent by God to retrieve her. Cautionary tales against lust and stories of Lilith strangling babies abound in folklore.
Over the past few decades, though, women have come to invoke her name as inspiration for feminism and the gender equality movement. Lilith has become an archetype of the liberated woman: assertive, determined, and takes no shit from anyone, not even God.
And since we’re coming upon the beginning of a brand new year, I’m making my New Year’s resolution to be more like Lilith in 2016. Wanna join me? Here are a few ideas to get us started, based on the way I portrayed Lilith in my book, Lilith: Queen of the Demons.
- Devour everything life has to offer here and now. Show no reserve. Life is short and changes so quickly. You will never have the exact same elements and circumstances aligning for you again. Seize the experience. Waste no opportunities. Yes, eat the fruit. Now.
- Learn everything that you can. The many ways to make love, make pottery, weave fabrics, build a house, tend a fire, read and write, astronomy, advanced spells, computer code… follow your curiosity. The world is an inexhaustible mystery. The more you learn, the more there is to learn.
- Follow your heart completely. The wisdom of the heart is often set aside in favor of the conscious mind, which is governed by fear, guilt, and duties.
“Love is strange. It has no rules. We do not control love. Love takes a grip of your heart and you are changed forever. Do not weep if you have love in your heart. Trust your heart. Follow the love you have inside you.”
– Kishar in Lilith: Queen of the Demons
- Tend to the fire of mischief. Life gets boring without laughter, surprise, and delight. Play tricks, say something outrageous, do something unexpected. Stop being so goddamn serious.
- Be clear about what you want, then boldly go forth to make it so. There are two parts to this. The first is being absolutely clear about your goal, thinking things through from beginning to end, with all (or at least as many as possible) things considered. The second is going forward boldly and unwaveringly. Sometimes I let people stop me because they bring up issues that cause me to realize I had not thought things through as clearly as I thought I had. Know the difference between constructive criticism and bullying. Revise, then keep going. It’s the second part that is most important and most difficult. I know I could get stuck in the planning stages forever, afraid to make the leap. Go. Fortune favors the bold.
Love, Lust, & Liberty in 2016!
Nothing gets a reaction quite like comedy or porn. You watch it and you laugh or get turned on (or get turned off, for that matter). The relationship between audience and media is direct and instantaneous.
Erotic comedy is a great vehicle with which to frame a story. Sexy fun keeps the story entertaining so the reader can fall in deep enough to be captured by the world within.
I came across John Collier’s painting of Lilith, Adam’s wife before Eve. It was love at first sight. I had to know more about her. By reading Jewish folk tales, Rabbinical Midrash, and exploring Medieval and Renaissance iconography of Lilith in paintings, wood cuts, jewelry, and cathedral relief sculpture, different parts of her story came together.
Book One is Lilith’s origin story. Lilith was born in Eden on the same day as Adam, but Adam did not believe her to be his equal. She agreed. She knew she was much smarter than him. The first three chapters of Genesis from Lilith’s point of view makes many of the Bible’s mysteries clearer and, well, sexier: forbidden fruit, God gets involved, all hell breaks loose, demon sex, angel sex, Anunnaki lesbian sex… I did mention this is a porno book, right? Lilith is stricken from history for a reason. Her story got way too hot to make it into scripture.
Honestly, if you sexy people keep buying it, I’ll keep writing it! Book Two is coming soon enough and you’ll get more than you bargained for then, I promise.
For now, snuggle up on this winter Solstice night and enjoy Book One, Lilith: Queen of the Demons, available on Kindle.