May Ling Su

I am very lucky to have had excellent female role models throughout my life. The very first special woman in my life was my grandmother’s aunt, an old spinster with waist-length salt and pepper hair, who lived all alone in the middle of a tobacco plantation with her dachsund. She told me scary stories of her life in the plantation, so that was the beginning of my fantasy life. At her funeral, I heard people talking in hushed tones about her being a lesbian, explaining why she never married… I remember watching TV with her, and she pointed to a Vegas-style showgirl and said that if she ever finds out that I become one of those loose women when I grow up, she would come out of her grave and get me. So now, I’m sort of like, come and get me!!! I challenge you to rise from the grave!!! May Ling Su, the necromancer!

I can go on and on about my female role models. My dad has six younger sisters, all beautiful strong intelligent women who worked very hard to go from a slum in Manila to becoming successful nurses who own nursing homes all over California and Nevada.

It was really weird when my family (of about 75 cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) stumbled upon my website. It divided them into those who respect me as an artist and those who were so embarrassed they wouldn’t look me in the eye for a while. I guess some were afraid that I was all of a sudden a whole different person, that maybe their daughters would all follow my footsteps, or that I would suddenly show up at family affairs with big inflated boobs or something scary like that. After a while when they realized I was still the same person they love, it all went back to normal.

My conversation with my dad about my site was one of the most intense times in my life. I immediately started crying, even though I would not take my site down as he requested. It’s partly his fault he raised a strong (stubborn) woman who can articulate clearly why she does what she does. In the end he understood.

It’s funny that my direction arose from finding the internet as a medium. I am not sure if I would have had the courage to explore my sexuality onstage the way Annie Sprinkle did, or as a prostitute/madam like Xaviera Hollander. I discovered my sexuality during the AIDS outbreak, so there was more to think about than just the fear of getting pregnant. Cybersex is safe, and feels so intimate even if I’m doing it with 50 different screennames in a chat room, ’cause it’s still just me (and sometimes my lover) in my private space.

The most important thing I learned in school is to never stop learning. Perhaps that’s why I love the internet - there is no end to learning something new, because the internet is always evolving. Interestingly, I have found on the world wide web my own university, with professors all over the world so willing to tutor me in various subjects like web development/design, history, philosophy, and human sexuality.

One of my best teachers is Rick, a philosophy professor from a respected university in the Netherlands. Here is a string of our correspondence:

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Grady Turner, curator of the inaugural exhibition at the Museum of Sex in New York City, emailed me: “I’m glad you are having such a good time, and sharing it! Let me know if you ever get back to the Museum of Sex. I’d love to hear what you think of the exhibition. And let me know if you read the book. Meanwhile, I’m a fan.”

I just finished reading the NYC SEX book companion to the Museum of Sex inaugural exhibition. I thought you really painted a vivid picture of the NY sex culture during the past two centuries. With the violence and repression of the time, women like Mae West shine like stars to me, almost a hundred years later. I want to thank you for sharing their inspiring stories and photos.

I think it’s interesting that your book covers a whole era in NY sexuality, and you published it (and the Museum of Sex opened) at the point in NY’s history that seems to me like a “blank slate or canvas.” 9-11 was the turning point, but even before then, Guiliani has “cleaned up” Times Square, commercial porn has moved to Hollywood, the internet has made it so that publishing (at least internet publishing - the dissemination of information) is increasingly becoming decentralized as every living room in the world becomes equipped with this power.

It makes me really curious about what’s next for NY’s sex scene, what the hell, the global sex scene in the 21st century. It’s hard to predict, but what’s exciting is that we’re IT! A hundred years from now people will be writing about what we’re doing now. It blows my mind!

PS. I just have to disagree with Gene Simmons. The Ramones, in their relative poverty, has influenced American music more by inspiring hundreds of bands that then came after and became as mainstream as Kiss was. Just being petty ;-D… but I do love The Ramones and Lou Reed.

Yup, everytime something comes up that is related to being an adult webmistress, I turn to the Guru of Gif, Andy Dunn, of Sexswap Trix for guidance and comfort. Check out my latest email to him, posted in his weekly newsletter:

Hello, Andy. I’m a little concerned about the implications of the New Paypal User Agreement. I’ve compared the new PayPal agreement to the old one, and a big flag for me is the word “obscene” on the new agreement. Since “obscenity” is such a subjective word, and what is considered “obscene” varies from state to state, the appearance of this word in the new Paypal agreement makes me feel a little bit uneasy.

My fears about this new development are based on ebay’s adult content history. I remember when ebay had the adult audiences category pretty openly, with only an age disclaimer. I also remember an email they sent me around the year 2000, when they said they were getting rid of adult auctions altogether, and that my account was being closed down. Then they changed their mind and re-opened the adult audiences category, with a more stringent age filter, and lots of (almost impossible) rules to comply with.

Get this, I knew I wasn’t supposed to have photographs that depict sexual acts, or even text that depict sexual acts on my ebay ads. Photos of boobs are okay, though… but you know mine still haven’t grown yet. So I posted an ad with a photo of me, fully dressed in a really short miniskirt and a t-shirt. Not allowed to write about what happens in the video, or post photo captures of the video itself, I had to express the content of the video somehow so that bidders know what they’re in for. So I put the letters “XXX” on the photo and my title said “hardcore.” No dice. They shut my auction down for the letters “XXX” and the word “hardcore.”

So you see my concern about this new Paypal user agreement. I’ve got really nasty videos on a Paypal shopping cart at MaysVideos.com - What is obscene? Is it based on my community standards or my customers’? Who decides what’s obscene? How is Paypal going to enforce this? I think this is a legitimate concern, and hopefully you and other webmasters can make me feel better about keeping Paypal. I really like Paypal, so I’d hate to lose it.

Andy writes: “I personally think this is an escape claus that PayPal wants to have to get out of trouble if they see fit. I think they want to straddle the fence and have porn, but if things get funny with the fed, they want to be able to axe the accounts and not get sued senseless. Time will tell where this all goes. It is shocking how it is 2003 and we still fear sex and nudity.”

I attended a workshop led by Fetish Diva Midori at Good Vibrations. She is mesmerizing… Tonight’s event was all about “Aural Sex: Seduction by Voice and Erotic Story Telling.” She was our evening’s Sheherazade, seducing men and women for over two hours with her voice and imagination. She also teaches Japanese Rope Bondage all over the world. I have her book “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” and apparently the publishers have already sold out of this book. Fetish Diva Midori shares her experience having both been the bound and the bondage mistress.

I remember coming home with this book and various ropes - hemp, nylon, cotton. I was very impatient with the long process of preparing the hemp ropes. Jay oiled them and singed splinters off till it was smooth, warm and ready for my skin. This took weeks of preparation and anticipation. By the time the ropes were ready, I had totally forgotten about them. In the meantime we learned how to do rope bondage with cotton and nylon ropes.

So tonight when I dressed into a schoolgirl nerd, Jay surprised me by commanding me to bring the hemp ropes out of the drawer. I watched as he wrapped the thickest hemp rope around my torso, looping across my chest to squeeze my tiny tits into plump perkiness. Like the rope, I was tested. My nipples stung as he put them through the unbroken chopsticks and then the clothespins. I squeaked and squealed, before Jay pushed his smooth hard cock into my mouth, drowning my cries in gurgles. My head was swimming. All my blood seem to rush right to my twin points. Pretty soon I was reaching orgasm and needing penetration. Jay sensed my urgency and sank four of his craftsman’s digits inside my slippery hole. My euphoria electrified him and he exploded all over my bound welted breasts.

… doo doo doo bee doo… I just got back from Good Vibrations. They have a “hands-on” workshop on giving a hand job. It was fun stroking dildos a gazillion ways with a sexy group of mostly women (and a couple of men). I can’t wait to practise on the geeb. Good Vibes is like a candy store to me. I couldn’t resist bringing a little rubber duckie vibrator home. It fits perfectly in my bathroom where I have an extensive rubber duckie collection. Now I can sit in the tub and sing, “Rubber duckie, you’re the one! You make bathtime lots of fun! Rubber duckie, I am awfully fond of you… doo doo doo bee doo…”

Little Sally Whoresnack, the sexy amputee, finally finds love, sex and stardom. Isn’t she cute? This comic gives me so much bizarre joy, and I wanna share it with you. If you have ever doubted that there is someone special for you, let this comic give you hope that someday you’ll find the love of your life and live nastily ever after. Check out this twisted love story at evilbay.com. Don’t dream it, be it!