I must admit I am very impressed, Mr. President.

I know the dramatic turn of events from the moment of your uncertain election was meticulously planned by the genius, your father. But you have executed his plans with more charm than I could have hoped for. You get things done, Chief Executive.

At the aftermath of 9-11, you rallied the nation in search of a mythical disappearing man, then like a lone cowboy attacked another country for reasons still unjustified. Payback for Daddy. This one is for the books.

Just when everyone’s getting restless about our continued military presence in a “liberated” nation, your troops captured the former dictator. There are only two things a new sovereign must do to earn a people’s respect: 1) humiliate the former leader, and 2) execute him. Both of these I am sure you will exercise in grand Texan fashion.

Oh, Georgie! You wield your power with the Alfred E. Neuman grin that gets my panties wet. The world is your whore, and so am I. With less than a year till the next election, you have only one more thing to do to keep this saga of “Lord of the Rings” proportions.

Bring us the head of Osama Bin Laden on a silver platter. Convince me that he’s not a fictional characted played by Al Pacino on a sound stage in Arizona. Do this and I will creep under your desk at the Oval Office, suck your cock, eat your milky cum and let you fill my mouth with your premium gold.

And unlike other interns, I don’t talk with my mouth full.