I’m so happy right now!!! The day started out so beautiful. All this furniture re-arranging has created some great spaces in our home. This morning Jay and I discovered how awesome the morning light came into his office. Before we moved this deco daybed up there, it was all cluttered up with papers. Now it’s so airy and open.

Have you ever heard anyone say that if you want something in your life, you must make room for it? I want a monkey child! And now I am absolutely sure about it. In the beginning, I thought I just wanted to physically experience motherhood, for the sake of getting to, maybe because Jenny’s having a baby and I caught this “baby fever.” I doubted myself so much, thinking a child was not a necessity in my life, that it was impractical, that giving life would put one more individual through this increasingly fucked up world humans are creating.

Then I remembered a wedding gift Jay and I received from a friend, a Chinese American poet. It came in an ornate oval metal box with inlaid carved jade on the top. Inside is a coin, the front has images of four different sexual positions, and on the back four Chinese characters. I asked my Taiwanese friend what the Chinese characters meant. She told me that the secret to happiness is all the unnecessary things.