I heard about this project from Museum of Sex Curator, Grady Turner. He said it would be interesting to have me and Jay sit for a portrait. He introduced me to Jordan Schaps, the producer. At this point, none of us have met in person. All by email, we started making arrangements for our sitting.

We were originally scheduled to do it at Timothy Greenfield-Sanders‘ studio in New York City. Jay and I were coming out to the East Coast for a vacation, but at the last minute we canceled. Jay had a weird feeling about flying East at that time, and I always trust his intuition.

Months later, Jordan got in touch with me again, this time letting me know they were shooting in LA. It was only a few days notice, but LA is just a couple of hours by plane. So we went.

xxx portrait

As soon as I walked into the studio, I was greeted by Timothy’s warm handshake. Jordan said something about being more beautiful in person, which put me immediately at ease. We looked through the polaroids they’ve shot so far. Someone mentioned that Nina Hartley was expected to turn up that afternoon.

I got the impression that before I walked in, Timothy wasn’t sold on the idea of having me in his book. I am no porn “star,” that’s for sure. Looking through the book now, I realize I am the odd one of the bunch. I seem to be the one who hadn’t paid her dues to Porn Valley. But in the same token, I’m the new blood, one of the amateur indie porn-makers who don’t need Porn Valley to be recognized as a valuable contributor to the industry. I guess I have Jordan to thank for getting me in the door, and Grady, for his unwavering faith that I belong in this book.

In the dressing room, or perhaps we should call it the un-dressing room, Kim Goodwin took his time on my hair and make-up. For me, this is the most important part of a photo shoot. This is when the transformation happens. I was nude, to avoid getting my clothes stained with make-up. On the next chair, Tatiana Shoan worked on Nina Hartley, who was topless. Everyone was talking animatedly about blowjobs.

I feel really honored to have been in the company of Nina Hartley that day. The book is all about her: her essay on the virtues of sex and her mission of spreading the good vibes; her conversation with Nancy Friday; and several times other contributors quote her saying something incredibly wise and life-changing. There is no one else I would have rather shared a dressing room with.

While I was having my photos taken, Jay was engrossed in a conversation with Nina Hartley and her husband, Hustler’s Taboo executive editor Ernest Greene. As I packed my bag after my shoot, I was amused to see Jordan planting a big kiss on Jay’s lips.

We hung around for a little bit, relaxed on the couch with Timothy, talking about art and Warhol. It was like being with old friends. If it weren’t for our scheduled flight back, I would have hung out there all night.