I am my Own Worst Critic
2006 May 25
I haven’t seen the footage yet from yesterday’s shoot, but as always after every shoot I critique myself and make a list of what I would do different next time:
- Learn how to do an enema. I’ve never done it before, but I know most people who do anal play clean themselves up this way first. I enjoy going from ass to mouth too much to have to worry about germs or mess.
- More make-up on camera. I don’t wear make-up off-camera, and in a lot of my photos and videos. The times I do wear make-up, though, I think my features pop out more and I like how I look. The whole ritual of putting on make-up also adds to the psychological transformation from regular girl-next-door to porn star.
- Speak louder. This shoot was my first after becoming a mom, and it shows. I’m definitely the horny housewife getting her nookie while trying not to wake the baby. All my whispers just do not register on our low budget guerrilla porn-making equipment. And what fun is stopping for close-ups or balancing an overhead microphone? I must learn to project my voice better.
- Talk dirtier. Outrage myself more. I felt a little shy yesterday. My mind was still being a mom and wasn’t quite letting go of the day-to-day grind. I’m lucky to have a husband who constantly outrages me with his nasty ideas. He takes me away and I am able to fully abandon myself to my lust. But when playing with someone as young as Tom Cooz (and I do love my boys young and pretty!), I have to learn how to take the lead. I have to outrage myself with my boldness and tell him exactly what I want him to do and how, which of course leads to…
- Get myself off. I usually don’t have an orgasm when I’m making porn. I get too cerebral, thinking about camera angles and executing body movement. Making porn is elaborate foreplay for me. The main event winds up being afterward when Jay and I are making love in bed, talking about how hot it was. That’s when I have my orgasms. I seem to get off more when we’re anticipating our next porn project and during post production, which is wonderful and all, but I want to have orgasms throughout the whole process.
No comments yet
