You know those dinky little mpeg movies you can take using your digital camera? It’s about the same quality as those movies you can take with your phonecam. They usually last about a minute and they’re pixelated as hell. I found a couple of those in my hard drive. I didn’t even know I had them. Here’s one. And here’s the second.

Jay, Mitch and I were hiking up at Muir Woods with a bagful of cherries. We lay our picnic blanket at a clearing and had a fun little romp. Mitchell was drunk too early in the afternoon so he was not much use to me. I handed him my camera so he can take pictures of me and Jay fucking, but what I got instead are these pixelated mpegs. He’s a director’s nightmare. He never does what I ask him to do. You can even hear him talking behind the camera.

I was just on the phone with him the other day and he was asking me if I was mad at him. I said I wasn’t, that if I seemed mad, it was just because I was trying to get him to do what I want. Then he asked me to promise him that he’s the only guy I would fuck, other than Jay.

“I can’t do that,” I answered.

“What? Why?” Mitch was getting dramatic. Is he drunk?

“Because it’s not true,” I quipped. I’m a woman of my word. If I say something, it’s as good as done.

“Have you guys been fucking another guy other than me?”

“Not lately. Just this 19-year-old guy, and we only did it once, and it was months ago.”

“What!?! Have you been fucking the boys in the neighborhood?”

He made me laugh. “I wish he was in my neighborhood. Then maybe I’d see him more often. But no, he lives very far away,” I said while he was moaning and groaning.

“I want you to promise me I’m the only guy you’ll fuck, other than Jay.” Yup, I think he’s drunk.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. I love you, Mitchell.”