I am so FAT!!! I don’t have access to a weighing scale but I can be certain I have gained at least ten pounds since I moved to Maine end of May. This summer my worst vice was banana splits.
I had one of these beautiful babies at least twice a week: one scoop vanilla with blueberry topping, one scoop strawberry with strawberry topping, one scoop black raspberry with raspberry topping, whipped cream, nuts and cherries sandwiched between banana halves.
I scored these banana splits from a tiny little single wide staffed by incredibly obese women. Each woman had their own station because there is no way two of them could squeeze past each other in the kitchen aisle.
Jay warned me I’d start looking like them fat ladies soon if I kept up my banana split habit. Look at that gleeful look in my eyes… I’m so ashamed! It takes all of my powers to resist the creamy goodness!
Today it was raining so I didn’t have a banana split, but we went out to Moody’s Diner in Waldoboro and had lunch. The Lobster Stew was awesome! Lobster in a milk and butter soup, served with a couple of buttermilk biscuits.
Oh, sacred cow udders, I worship thee!!! I see every kosher Jew shuddering at my utter disregard for cleanliness. Oh, yes! I am a dirty lobster eating meat product mixing heathen!
I was so stuffed! I couldn’t believe Jay ordered Walnut Pie a la Mode after my soup. Then he promptly left me and the kid to eat dessert while he checked out the gift shop without the task of having to chase after our little tasmanian devil that devastates all shop merchandise. I’d eaten half of it already before I remembered I wanted to photograph.
Have you ever been so full that you felt like puking? That’s how I felt by the time we stepped out of Moody’s Diner. All it would have taken was for someone to poke me in the middle. I tried to swallow the sour pukey taste in my mouth, breathe in and out through my tight jeans. I am so anti-puking. It was the one thing I told Max Hardcore I would NOT do. Jay even encourages me to puke sometimes when I feel like I’ve had food poisoning, but I just can’t. I can’t bring myself to put my head in a toilet bowl. It’s too gross! I guess the point of sticking your head in a toilet is to gross yourself out enough that you puke, but I just can’t. I don’t think I’d make a good bulimic. I’d be too grossed out. I’d rather be fat. What do you think? Do I look good FAT?
Your nice pictures really make me hungry, but that last one makes me want to eat something really juicy. Whooaaa, just the perfect stare, those gorgeous eyes looking at me, yesssss!!! And by the way, what fat are you talking about?
Mmmm..banana splits…
Oh wait, wrong type of feedback.
Honestly you look great. At this point I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
You look great. All Pinays are suckers for a banana split. I should know, I lived there 7 years and married one.
- be carefull!
if you gain just a few pounds a month for the next 20 years you could top out at about xx99 pounds!!!
thanks, (you look great)
pete
A professor once explained to me that there are two ways of being fat. The occidental Obese and the oriental Sumo. The stuffed obese is as immobile a traffic jam whereas the hyperflexible sumo is mobile as Mount Fuji. (just for those not aware of the mythical character of Mount Fuji: it is a VERY limber and unstable element in Japanese literature). So… if you really plan to go fat, become mount Fuji. Though judging from the picture you still have a loooong way to go.:) You look beautiful May…
You look fine, honey.
My wife is a petite, and although she watches her figure reasonably well (without any pressure from me), every now and then she’ll get a litttle soft around the hips and then she gets a little upset until it’s gone.
During these little “fat” episodes, she aske me the inevitable question: “Do you still think I’m beautiful?”
I’ll tell you the same thing I tell her:
It’s always better to have a little softness around the hips than it is to have all of your ribs showing. A little softness is much more feminine and beautiful than exposed bones.
You don’t look fat at all, but if you do…so what? It’s not the end of the world. Just do a little bit more swimming while the weather’s still warm and you’ll be just fine.
damn thats a big bananna split- you are not fat you lokk hot in that last photo.
thats is so funny about the fat women having ther own booth. youre funny
christine- xoxo
hope to hear more steamy stories soon!
I don’t speak english very well…
but I will try… so..
Hi… I come from Brazil, and I become a fan of u…
U kind of art touch my imagination!
I want to say so many things… but my knowledge of english language it’s little…
Suas idéias são puras e ao mesmo tempo não são! É um tipo de sensibilidade que eu tenho… e as vezes acho que só eu mesmo possuo!
Kisses
May Ling,
Try to stay thin but not skinny. You look tasty and young.
Skred
You do NOT look fat.
You guys have to try the Peanut Butter Pie next time you are at Moodys ! It is so good , just don’t think about the fat , or what is in it , simply enjoy !