I got this email today, very likely in response to my entry, “Porn Introspective.” I’m posting it as a new entry, not to put him on the spot, but to correct certain misconceptions. More than likely, he is not alone in this perception. Hopefully, this entry helps others like him to understand. His email reads:
“You are clearly troubled by your “porn life.” I think you should give it up. You also clearly have a mind. There is so much you can do with your mind: Start a business, write, compose music, meditate (I recommend Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana), and on and on. Above all else, you are a mommy. What could be better, braver or more beautiful than that?”
I appreciate his sincerity and polite manner. However he makes assumptions that are clearly wrong:
1. People who make porn do nothing else but porn. I think this is a common misconception. These photo images I have on my site, though they are visible to viewers 24/7, are each only a micro-second of my life. The videos I have at MaysVideos.com are each only 30 to 45 minutes of my life. I do other things with my time; I write, compose music, knit, cook, make sci-fi movies, etc. I am a multifaceted human being. I think most people are.
2. People who make porn are stupid. He makes the horrible assumption that if one is smart enough, one would do something else other than porn. The truth is that I own a thriving business in a field unrelated to porn, have been running it longer than I’ve had this website, and make a decent living in that field. I make porn because human sexuality is a study worth undertaking. My body and its pleasures is a frontier worth exploring. You wouldn’t tell a ballerina or an athlete to give it up because they “have a mind,” would you?
3. Being ambivalent means I am troubled. I expressed ambivalence for my porn life because I live a mindful existence. I follow a path that is not well-trodden. I examine my life constantly. It’s a form of meditation.
4. Mothers are beautiful and brave, but not sexy. I’ll take beautiful and brave, but I want sexy, too. Motherhood is born from sexual intercourse. It is a very public manifestation of a woman’s sexuality. Motherhood certainly does not change the fact that I am a woman, an artist and a sexual being. I don’t subscribe to the Judeo-Christian paradigm that there is a conflict between Madonna vs. Whore, Good vs. Evil, Light vs. Dark, Body vs. Mind. A healthier philosophy is based on the yin/yang symbol of Light and Dark, Body and Mind, Mother and Whore coexisting into wholeness. It is the essence of human experience.
All that being said, I may give up porn one of these days. I certainly haven’t been devoting as much time to making porn as I’d like to. I could just end it now while I’m still pretty hot. I mean, honestly, would you get off on pictures of me when I’m Granny May? Come on, be honest. Don’t get me wrong. I support the freedom of old people to get down and dirty on camera. I just don’t get off on it. Not yet, anyway. hahahaha Seriously though, I’m not sure Granny May is an image of me I’m ready to see. At least I’m honest enough to bare my biases. I think old people can be sexy, just maybe not pornogenic. What do you think?
“I’ll take beautiful and brave, but I want sexy, too. Motherhood is born from sexual intercourse. It is a very public manifestation of a woman’s sexuality. Motherhood certainly does not change the fact that I am a woman, an artist and a sexual being. I don’t subscribe to the Judeo-Christian paradigm that there is a conflict between Madonna vs. Whore, Good vs. Evil, Light vs. Dark, Body vs. Mind. A healthier philosophy is based on the yin/yang symbol of Light and Dark, Body and Mind, Mother and Whore coexisting into wholeness. It is the essence of human experience.”
I think you’ve pretty much nailed it right there. Only the ignorant see life in absolutes. The world is not composed of black and white dualities, and it’s absurd to think otherwise. Life is so much more beautiful complex than that.
You are beautiful and sexy, and a loving mother as well…and if I knew you much more personally like your friends and family do, I’m certain that you’re so much more as well.
Just because you do porn right now doesn’t mean you’re chained to it forever. Keep doing it as long as you still enjoy it. If you’ve lost your passion or interest for it, there’s nothing wrong with admitting it and then moving on to something new. It’s a big world out there and there are always new opportunities for those who seek them.
I’ll miss you very much if you leave so soon, though.
Hey, whatever gets ya thru your life, it’s all right. As long as it doesn’t directly hurt other people (if some claim certain thing indirectly hurt other people, fuck them), more power to ya. Rock on!
Hi May ,
First of all , what a perfect looking pie !!! Very nice job on the lattice work on the top crust , you have some skills , ever think of trying out for Top Chef ? Love to try a piece .
It is funny how often people think that if you are involved in porn , that you are a victim of some sort , or are one dimensional ! Perhaps that is because they are viewing merely one aspect of the people , and keeping them stuck in that context . There is , as you point out very well , the dualistic , Taoist perspective . Western religion puts the pie up in the sky , instead of in the hands of a hot Milf like you , where we can all have a piece ! LOL…. sorry , could not resist the metaphor . It is monotheistic rather than pantheistic , so there is only one source and repository of the Divine , and it is way up in the sky , by and by . When the truth is , the Divine is in evey single thing in creation . Have you ever read God’s Debris , by Scott Adams ? He is the creator of Dibert , and the book is a very brilliant , insightful little book , and a fun , quick read . Same idea , really , that everything is an expression of the Divine . The Taoists knew this , so did the ancient Hindus that gave us the image of Kali , the great Mother and Destroyer , the giver and taker of life . In the immortal words of Jethro Tull ” He who made kittens put snakes in the grass ” !!
Greetings,
To be honest, I have never taken the time to really read any posts on this site until this one (I’ve mainly just enjoyed the scenery), but after reading your above words, I will take time to read more. It is always refreshing to find that there are people who are sexually open and honest about it, as well as have an intelligent point of view on the subject.
I grew up in the Bible-belt (Georgia) and am currently leaving in China and working as an English teacher, so I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting many folks with your viewpoints.
I agree whole-heartedly with your views, but would like to mention that, while not all adult stars are “damaged goods”, there is probably a reason that particular stereotype exists. While stereotypes tend to be off-base most of the time, they do tend to have valid starting points based on common patterns, though the original idea becomes skewed over time. For example, people say all black men have large penises (I would love to have this stereotype, lol)… well, this is not always true, but it is a more common occurrence within African people than Caucasian people. Are all Chinese people good in math? Hardly, but their culture encourages studying much more than ours.
Anyway, enough of the rant. I hope you stay in the business for years to come and have much prosperity and joy. I will definitely make it a point to read this site more often. You are quite the insightful person. Thanks for sharing with everyone.
May if you give up porn, I’ll have to take photos of just me!!! Unthinkable… some pale skinny nerd going solo. Disgusting. I need you sweetie, you are my muse, my love, and it feels so good to get naughty with you now and then. If there are two sides to your coin, then I am the thin little edge that no one thinks about when they give it a toss. We all know the coin never lands on the edge. I’m nothing without you.
some morons do not know the difference between making love and sex. although you like other men to view you and you have sex withthem ,i am sure you love jay and with him you make love. maybe he has sex with others also. you do not hide anything from him and he frequently watches you. i am sure you are a good mother too. a person who lets people see them nude or doing sex or having sex is neither evil or stupid or wasting their life. i love to look at you and would love to be with you just name the place and time.
If only more people would be like you. You are brave May, running a business and being a mother doing porn. I’m scared that all my customers would run away if they saw me having sex on the internet. Society demands that sex is a secret life, not a celebration of life as it should be.
I am lucky to have a business that does not necessitate personal appearances. My business is also internet-based. However, my employees are aware of my fun, and are respectful of it. I don’t let everyone in on it, but I won’t lie or deny it if someone were to confront me about it.
You know whats happening here, it’s simple other porn sites just leave a bad taste in one’s mouth, when a person view this they think the same way, I noticed when I visited your site, it was pretty cool, nothing outrageous or anything plus again it’s a fun cool interesting adult site, “nuff said.
Oh yeah, I played that sci-fi game once in a blue, thats cool, but sorry I had to order my Nintendo Wii and started playing it, I waited a month for that, geez.. lol! L8ter.