Continued from Camera Foreplay…
The three of us stripped naked and got into bed. She laid back and let me explore her body. I took the thick pouting lips of her labia into my mouth and sucked, licked, alternately, insistently. I felt Jay’s hands working on my upturned butt as I worked on her. She hardly made a sound. She looked bored again.
Maybe a little bit of dress-up would liven up the menage a trois, I thought. Jay stepped out, and I opened my closet, trying on various pieces on her. Her breasts overflowed out of my tightly hugging clothes. I managed to find a sundress I bought that was two sizes too big on me. She looked beautiful. We ran out to the garden to take more photos before the sun left us for the day.
We took photos well into the night, getting her in and out of clothing pieces, raiding the refrigerator for some fruit to serve as props, finding little nooks in the house to construe a scene. The whole time she was compliant, but did not add any spark of sexual energy. We were going through the motions, but I did not feel the connection. I wished there was some kind of spontaneous naughtiness, some giddy mischief, to elevate the moment.
She was in our bed before Jay and I were. Jay was still putting lights and equipment away when I crawled into bed with her. I was slightly annoyed with her lack of personality. She was wearing a tight shirt and panties, and more perfume than I was willing to sleep with. I squeezed her big breasts, enjoyed their soft fullness in my hands. She was still quiet. I pulled her shirt up over her tits. The tightness of the shirt against her collarbone made her tits bulge out even more. I pinched her nipples. Still not a sound. My fingers gripped her nipples tighter, tighter. I wanted to her moan, to stop me, anything but the silence.
Jay discovered us in bed. He pulled her panties off and went down on her. I kept playing with her breasts, squeezing them together, licking her, nibbling a little. Her nipples were hard little nubs. With just a little persistence, we got her to arch her back and let out a little whimper. Ah, finally! She’s alive!
Jay later told me that after her orgasm, she squeezed her thighs really tight together, making it obvious to him that any more play was unwelcome. She went to sleep, and left me and Jay to ourselves.
The next day we took her shopping. When we got back home, she dressed in her new clothes, and she and I went out to shoot some more. This time we went to the park. She livened up in front of the camera, teasing, flashing, every bit the flirt I wished she was in real life.
I realized she was making it clear that she was not in the least interested in me or Jay. She just wanted her picture taken, that’s all. I fell for the biggest scam in the world. I should have known. I’ve been in front of that camera. I should know the power it has on the model, this need to look beautiful, to preserve our life and youth into light captures, for eternity. It has nothing to do with the photographer. A photographer is only an extension of the camera, just a finger to press the shutter, merely an eye to focus and compose the shot. Having been both behind and in front of the camera, I realized that objectification happens both ways. We need to objectify to make art. Love, or friendship, has nothing to do with it.
This is how I know I’m not cut out for this industry. I can’t be “professional” about something so intimate. I have to like the person I’m intimate with. I have to share a laugh with them, get to know them, hang out and banter with them, and I don’t want the fun to stop when the cameras stop rolling.
I learned that when we went back home to shoot a video. We carried on as planned, going through the motions. I tried to liven up the atmosphere with a positive attitude. Though her quiet demeanor did not get in the way of her delivering beautiful photos, it became a problem on video. We stopped. She called a boyfriend on the phone. He picked her up. I never saw her again.
She called me once after that. She said she had gotten pregnant, was planning on getting an abortion, and could she come over after her abortion for another shoot? I told her she was welcome in our home. I never heard from her again.
Oof..that can be rough. You get an amazing beauty and then realize that no, the spark just isn’t there. It’s just for the camera.
you can photograph me any time mai. THERE WILL BE A SPARK! YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.if i am nude in front of you it will be great and you can do all the touching ,kissing,licking and sucking you want i will voice no objections.
Hi May, thanks for this blog! I was pleased to hear that I’m not the only person who experiences that kind of response. In my life as an artist, I have worked with many females and males who are completely into what we are trying to achieve. Then I’ll end up with someone who seems like they’d be great to work with (going by what they’ve told me) only to have a passionless photoshoot with someone who is totally disengaged. I find it very dispiriting.
Regards, J.B.
There are times in life when you get in deeper than you counted on getting and I think that was probably the case with Lena. From the looks of the video you took of her shopping she seemed very uncomfortable. I think sometimes when fantasy becomes reality it is either too much to handle or not what one expected. She was probably too young to know what she was in for.
boo on her, what a killjoy. good thing she didnt call back. Hopefully any others that jump in will be more into it.
Does her youth indicate a lack of experience and sexuasl awakening? Perhaps Lena is still in the process of discovering what human sexuality is all about. Keep looking for someone who can fulfill your fantasy.I am sure you will find someone who will show and feel emotion and excitement Life and living it is all about passion. Without it, life can be a bore.
A remarkably candid–yet somewhat sad—story, I must say. During my student years I befriended a few people in the industry and nearly all of them had similar stories.
How brave you are to open yourself to us!
I’m struck by her discomfort in the shopping clip. She doesn’t seem to be having much fun.
I guess you could chalk it up to youth and lack of experience. It is hard to be comfortable in your own skin at 18. It is even more difficult to be at ease with two older (not teenage) people who are sure of themselves and having a great time. There may not have been much common ground.
I have seen the camera work its magic on some of my friends. In particular, I’ve been startled by how one shy friend just comes alive in front of a big shiny SLR. Something about the look of the lens and the sound of the shutter is catnip for her. It’s like she has a hard-wired aspiring fashion model in a corner of her mind.
Interesting, What is it about the camera? I recall years ago there was a photographer call Ugly George on NYC who strapped cameras and lights onto a shoulder mounted rig and filemd pople who just passed by and sometimes had sex on camera with strangers. I wonder what it is about the camera where some people come alive on camera.