Thirteen days since my last post… I’m sure you are wondering where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. Wait no longer, my friends. I’m back, and I’m better than ever. I’ve had a major overhaul in my private parts, and am very happy to unveil my fabulous new…
Vagina 2.0
(via 23/6)
It is bluetooth-enabled, and accepts European and Asian inputs, to provide the ultimate cybersexual pleasure. For those of you who are musically inclined, and I do love my iTunes, there is a built in iPod dock. God, I love a good rhythmic fuck. Engineers are still working on Anus 2.0 (watch for it in Fall 2008) but for those who tend to get confused between the two holes, take advantage of the GPS function built pretty close to the ovaries. Watch the GPS as it tells a lost little sperm that the ovary is a no entry zone. Vagina 2.0 does have a time release Plan B function, and not one, but two self-cleaning devices for uninvited intruders of the microscopic kind.
The final touch that personalizes my Vagina 2.0 is the installed Adobe Creative Suite Professional Edition. Of course, those of my lady friends who would like to upgrade to Vagina 2.0 have their own personal selection of software they can install. Mine just happens to be CS, for blogging purposes. That’s how much I love you! Kisses!
Oooh..can we call you Cyber-May now?
(although I’m not so sure I’d want an espresso machine in my private parts…)
a classic! your best written work!you have brains besides beauty! but your beauty is indescribable!
O I want one…maybe two!
That’s a bunch of complicated kit you’ve got there. I hope you have a plan to get your Vagina 2.0 regularly serviced. Don’t go cheap and just let anyone do the job! Insist on well trained technicians with the best equipment.
Wicked, do you know any one who can customise my vas deferens etc?
This device needs a warm up button, that triggers romance and wooing. This button would also put the wee one into an idle mode, to allow for such activity. I have found that when we have time to converse, and get excited, we don’t have the time to do anything physical about it. When we have physical time together we don’t take the time to take it slow, and build up the heat, so to say. Time constraints have taken a lot of the romance out of the humping, and whenever sex is mechanical, it becomes a lot like the illustration above. Not too sexy.
This is my first in a series of comments. I asked May if I could get more involved in the blog project, and share a bit of my thoughts and soul with our readers. I usually don’t say much, as I never want to upset the love of my life, the amazing miss May Ling Su. I do however believe that any discourse that honestly comes from my heart will be of interest to our readers, and ultimately ourselves. Often the most interesting part of a relationship is working things out. And like any couple, we have a lot to work out. Thanks to everyone for being a part of our life on line. Enjoy.
holy smokes, vagina 2.0? visit my site, leave me a message and follow it thru to twitter. That’s Pervert 2.0.