I found this video Jay and I made when I was 7 months pregnant: big enough to make an impression, but not so big that I shake the ground whenever I move.

The first scene presents a problem: How do I trim overgrown pubic hair, when I can’t see past my bulging belly? I just had to LOL at my predicament. Mothers (and pot-bellied men) know what I’m talking about. As soon as my thighs were out of sight, I was like, “Pubes? What pubes?”

Good thing Jay was around. He lent me a hand, shaving my sasquatchian cunt, and gave me a little tongue too. As soon as I was smooth, this big mama was ready for action.

I show the ladies how to do kegel exercises. Jay gives me a full body massage, including some assistance in stretching out the baby tunnel. We do it in every position possible while still keeping my bun in the oven.

I’m a little shocked at how hardcore we got, but then again, not really. Jay and I have been having extreme sex daily since we hooked up in 1996. My “delicate condition” notwithstanding, we did for the camera what we have always done.

I love this video, now up at MAYCAM. I had an amazing experience being pregnant. I was very healthy and happy, and it shows on video.

Lately my kid keeps asking me for a brother or a sister, and though I really enjoyed being pregnant I hesitate. I remember talking to one of the nurses who drew me a blood test. I was worrying out loud about the pain of childbirth. She laughed at me, “Honey, that’s nothing compared to the job you have afterwards.” She was right.