A month ago Josh and I had made plans to play with his glass cylinder. He was to stick it up my butt and cum in it. He had held off masturbating for three days so he could give me a really big load. The plan fell through. Disappointment all around. So this time, we made no plans. He just showed up one day, hung out with Jay until I was free, and we played.

He brought his glass cylinder. I’ve always liked glass toys. I like the smooth cool feeling. I was on all fours when we pushed the glass cylinder into my gaping anus. Josh shot his cum straight into it, kept the spillover to a minimum. Then it was Jay’s turn. Jay pulled the cylinder out and fucked me, making Josh’s cum ooze out of my ass and drip thick down my slit. It felt amazing. Deep furious thrusts lubed by real electric life. Jay shoved his cum-covered cock into my pussy quickly, then pushed it back into my ass. It was terrifying and electrifying.

“I’m cumming,” I cried in staccato, still getting pounded hard. Jay was cumming too. Josh was jerking it to my face, cumming a second time. I’ve never had a simultaneous three-way orgasm experience before.

Now I’m depressed. Go see this video before I totally go insane and take all my websites down.

I had about half an hour to spare before Siren was due to arrive at my hotel room, so I took a walk around the neighborhood at Queen Street West, mostly to keep myself from obsessing over my Macbook. I walked into a sweet little boutique called Champagne and Cupcakes, and found the dress I decided to wear for the Feminist Porn Awards. The boutique offers original designs by Caroline Lim, as well as accessories made by other Canadian designers. They also do in-house alteration, which takes at least a couple of days to accomplish. Lucky for me, the dress I picked fits me perfectly. I love the dress and peacock feather hair accessory, don’t you?

My little shopping therapy did wonders to my mood. I went back to my hotel room to meet Siren Thorn. Those of you who follow my twitter may already know that I am working on a new project I’ve named Enchantasia. This project will combine beautiful asian women and mythological characters from Asia. I’m really excited about recreating images from stories I’ve heard in my childhood. Siren Thorn is the first model I have had the pleasure of photographing for this project. She is incredibly beautiful and so easy to work with. I adore her! You’ll see more of Sire Thorn and other asian women in Enchantasia by autumn this year.

After our shoot, I brought my dead Macbook to Apple at Eaton Center. My Genius, Dave B. spent over an hour resurrecting my Mac. He stayed well past the 9 pm closing time to make sure I came home with a functioning OS. I was so overwhelmed by his tenacity and how he did not balk at my files, which are as personally revealing of me as a pap smear.

By the time I arrived at the Bloor Cinema for Public Provocative Porn, it was 10 pm. I had missed Nica Noelle’s film, “The Deviant.” I walked into a full house agog over the spectacular April Flores. I squeezed into an empty seat in the back. I’ve watched porn on a big screen before, at home using a projector. But I’ve never before watched porn in a public place, a theater packed with people nonetheless. It made me feel self-conscious, like every breath, every reaction of my body was magnified a million times, and that the people sitting on either side of me could feel me too.

Shine Louise Houston’s “Crash Pad Series Vol. 5” came on next. It’s really surprising because I was expecting dyke porn, and what I saw instead was Mickey Mod, a cis-gender male paired up with cute genderqueer Shawn, also known as Syd Blakovich.

“Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men” was a welcome relief from the intensity of the previous films. Tristan Taormino discusses anal sex nonchalantly with a hetero-couple, played by Penny Flame and Devin. The audience laughed several times during the screening of her film – a little nervously perhaps, a release from tension. And this is exactly how Tristan Taormino affects people. She approaches a delicate subject with disarming charm that makes you feel comfortable, so comfortable, you feel like you can tell her anything. I encourage anyone who is curious about anal sex to get her videos and learn from the expert.

Lorraine Hewitt led a Q&A discussion, which was just as interesting as the films themselves.

The next day I decided I would take it easy. The day before had been so stressful, traveling and running around town to get my Macbook fixed. My room at the Gladstone Hotel was very cozy and perfect for taking photos in. Each room is uniquely designed by a different artist, and by sheer luck I got the room designed by Millie Chen, “Chinoiserie.” I packed my lilac-colored cheongsam for the occasion, and took photos that are now posted at MAYCAM. I sure do miss my partner-in-crime, Jay. Taking photos using a self-timer is not as fun as having someone to interact with behind the camera.

I went to check out Good For Her, the sex toy shop hosting and sponsoring the Feminist Porn Awards. I bought a few items to give as presents to girl friends from high school who were meeting me for dinner before the awards. I hadn’t seen them in over 20 years (yes, I’m ancient!) and somehow seeing each other again reduced us to giggling schoolgirls. I had so much fun! In between the nerves of traveling alone and being somewhat of an outsider in such a big event, I found an oasis of joy among my friends.

The Feminist Porn Awards was held at Berkeley Church. The place was packed with beautiful people of all shapes, sizes, genders, races… all there to celebrate feminist porn. I met Courtney Trouble, brilliant director of Speakeasy, which won the award for Most Tantalizing Trans Film that night. “We all belong here!” she announced emotionally as she accepted her award. I stepped back and looked around me at everyone belonging, celebrating with the people they love, their chosen family. I stepped out of my body for a moment and searched for my tribe, the people I belong to. They weren’t in this room. I walked around the church observing the event as it took place. Acceptance speeches, sexy campy numbers, clips from the winning films.

I stepped outside for a moment and called Jay. It was bedtime for the little one and I wanted to say good night. I tried to keep my voice steady and my tears from forming. I decided it was time to go home.

A cute boi came up to me and asked, “Do those shoes hurt your feet? Be honest.”

“Yes,” I answered.

“That is so hot!” He was going to say more, then changed his mind and said good night.

I had just enough time to pack up my stuff and go. My flight was at 6:45 in the morning, which meant I had to be at the airport long before dawn. While standing in line for Customs, I congratulated Shine Louise Houston for winning The Visionary Award that night. We both realized we were on the same flight back to San Francisco. We talked while waiting to board. I got a sneak peak at what she’s working on. I let her in on new projects I’m working on. We got to our seats and found out we were seated on the same row, with a guy between us. I thought, this will be interesting.

The guy offered to switch seats with me so Shine and I could continue talking. She was talking about being glad the award trophy wasn’t made of glass.

“Do you have it on you,” I asked impishly. Yes, she answered. “Can I touch it?” I pushed. Sure, she replied, and got it out. Verrrrry nice! I just had to take a picture of her holding it.

I had to lean way back to get Shine and the trophy in the frame of my iPhone cam. I leaned way into the guy’s personal space that it made Shine laugh so hard, and that’s why she has the biggest grin on her face in this picture. I think I made a friend.

I found myself at Mission Street in San Francisco with my man, handsome in his black coat and hat. It’s a costume ball after all. Where is the Badlands Mission Gallery? Could have missed it, if it weren’t for the clown at the door… A yenta with feathers in her hair snatched my man and married him off to a cute biker girl in leather. Throughout the course of the evening, I got married, won a prize for the fetish fashion show, and got smeared with a slab of meat down the front of my black vinyl dress by an irreverent indian. My prize for the evening, though, was meeting Guillermo Gomez-Pena.

See more photos on the original post here.

A smile crept into my face as tightness settled into my loins. Muscle memory.

“Hi!” I called as he walked down the driveway. “This is a surprise.”

“Jay didn’t tell you I was coming?” he asked, his lips curled into a small smile.

“No. Come in.” It was the first time Josh had visited in the daytime. I felt self-conscious wearing practical mom clothes. Jeans, button down plaid shirt, hoodie and black flats.

Josh and Jay talked shop about art. I excused myself to put on fuck-me make up. I needed a quick transition from mom to whore, and make up was the easiest way to do it. When I was ready I went back into our playroom (the Master’s bedroom), undressed and went through my closet of play clothes. My mind drew a blank. I had so many clothes, but nothing appealed to me at that moment. What to wear, what to wear…

Jay set his video camera on a tripod. I still had no idea what to wear, what kind of play I wanted, what I was in the mood for. Jay grabbed my naked body, “You’re ready. Here you are,” rubbing, kissing. Josh came up and followed Jay’s lead.

So the video rolled, I was already naked, two men caressed my body and probed into my moist parts. Jay shoved his cock into my ass with no warning and I moaned. Josh tried to silence my moans, filling my mouth with his hard veiny cock. They switched places and took turns, all the while taking me to a different world, a world inside myself I often get too busy to visit.

Josh fucked me hard. So deep in my bowels I cried then laughed at the craziness of it all. “Do it again,” I pulled him back inside me, ready for another ride.

I lay on my back after he let me go. He pulled off his condom and pushed his cock into my mouth as I hung my head off the side of the bed. My fingers crept into the void he’d left: a finger each in my pussy and ass. He fucked my mouth, and as with my ass, his cock sank deeper and deeper into my throat with every thrust. Once it hit bottom and I gagged.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as quickly as my gag reflex reacted.

I smiled, “No, you’re not,” with a swift slap on his butt cheeks before I swallowed his cock once more.

When he was ready to pop, I sat up with my mouth open expectantly, anticipating the heavy thump of his cum against my face. He did not disappoint me. Thick dollops of cum spurted in my mouth, across my nostrils, up to my eye, dripped off the sides of my mouth to my chest.

Jay the voyeuristic director joined him soon and made his offering on the altar of sex, my cum splattered face. I wore it well.

Did you know that Max Hardcore is a Leo?

The boy who gave me my first kiss at 15: Leo.

My first lover. Not a Leo. He’s a Scorpio. That’s a whole other world I won’t get into now.

But my rebound guy after my first lover, you guessed it: Leo.

Sam: Leo.

And sweet Liandre.

Liandre was a boy who called me every night when I was 14. Our maid, Nana Cion used to sneak me phonecalls by announcing that a girl named Andrea was calling. We’d talk for hours. Who knew what it was about. Just a boy curious about me as I was curious about him.

One day he said he would come over for a visit. I had lost my voice that day after singing too much. It was midafternoon. I sat on a bench in our backyard, not knowing there was a small hive of the meanest yellow jackets in a nook under the bench. What Liandre found when he arrived was me screaming, “Putakti! Putakti” in a deep scraggly voice that sounded like I was possessed by the devil as I ran past him indoors and under a shower of cold water. It’s up there as one of the most embarrassing moments in my life.

I never saw him after that. Think I scared him?

At the Expo I met Mika Tan who helped me get out of a real jam. You see, the security told me that I had to pop all my erosic balloons. They were concerned that they would float up and jam the air conditioning. They said to pop them NOW, not to walk, move, or anything – just pop them.

*********

This weekend the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo is going on in Las Vegas. Carnal Nation covers the events as they happen.

Mika Tan works at the Bunny Ranch. From her twitter, you get a sense of how sweet, funny, down to earth and drop dead sexy she is. Follow her, hire her, love her forever.

I’m feeling witchy.

Late last year I read Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” to my wee one. It took us about a week to finish the novel, reading two to three chapters a night before bed. By the time we finished the book, we had both fallen even deeper in love with the classic tale of Dorothy, Toto and the amazing characters in the land of Oz.

I was surprised by the violent scenes, mostly involving the Tin Woodsman and his ax. I did not censor the book for my 5-year-old. I read her the book, as Baum wrote it a hundred years ago. If it was good enough for children in the last turn of the century, it is good enough for mine. Besides, what kind of a free speech advocate would I be if I started censoring my child’s reading?

After the Baum book, I itched to read more so I picked up “Wicked,” by Gregory Maguire, which I already had in my library. A friend gave it as a gift over ten years ago but I never got around to reading it until now. This is the grown up version of Oz. Sex, politics, philosophy, the earthy lore of religions… I love it! Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, is practical, passionate, skeptical of lies and illusions. She comes undone, not because she is evil, but because she loves deeper than any one in the story. She is not unlike Dorothy in her innocence.

When I was way into the latter part of the book, my wee one got curious enough to ask me to read “Wicked” to her. I obliged, reading from the part I had gotten to, in which Dorothy comes to Oz. The book was over her head, though she liked listening to me read, and it put her to sleep in less than a chapter.

This dress is my homage to Dorothy. These photos were taken a few years back, when I didn’t have a pair of ruby red slippers. Now that I do, I can click my heels and say, “There’s no place like home.”

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View 5 more jpgs

MAYCAM has a larger version of these photos.

True, pornographers are hardly ordinary people. We tend to have a voluptuous interest in sexual expression, one that exceeds the confines of our bedrooms. But we, pornographers, are simple folk. We are triggered by our basest instincts, the desire for pleasure in its most immediate form. We are no different from a pastry chef or a sommelier. We are enthusiastic about our pleasure, and wish to make sharing it our means of livelihood.

Sexual repression in society complicates things a lot, doesn’t it? Add guilt to the equation and pornography becomes the irresistible forbidden fruit that brings a naughty charge up an otherwise normal expression of humanity. Censorship and criminalization takes it even further: sex becomes politicized. Pornographers become revolutionaries.

Take a look at what’s going on in China. I wonder what will happen there this coming year.

China arrests 5,000 for internet pornography offences

China arrested more than 5,000 people in 2009 in a drive to purge the internet of pornography and other “harmful information”.

The ministry of public security said 5,394 people had been arrested and that over 9,000 websites had been deleted for having pornographic content. The ministry did not say how many people had subsequently been put on trial.

The authorities released the figures with a warning that its policing of the internet would intensify in 2010 in order to preserve “state security”.

China maintains strict censorship of the internet in order to make sure that unhealthy content, including criticism of the Communist Party, does not reach a wide audience.

Websites such as YouTube, Facebook and Twitter are all blocked and Google has received a public warning for not censoring itself more thoroughly.

With over 350 million internet users, the government worries that any small cracks in its authority could quickly spiral out of control. In the first six months of 2009, an average of 221,000 Chinese a day started using the internet for the first time, or 153 new users a minute. Read more…