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The article about me published in last month’s Esquire Philippines is now online. Go read my interview with Gang Badoy and check out the art by Gamo Tuano. It’s so lovely!

Big Wave, by Mayumi Haryoto, a tribute to Katsuhika Hokusai’s The Great Wave

The sun set shortly after five. It was the last day of November. Over the past year Jay and I had been taking hikes up at Mavericks while our kid did gymnastics. Lately it’s been getting dark too soon.

I don’t know what came over us that night. It could have been the balmy evening, the resplendent sunset as we drove down Devil’s Slide on the way, or the desire to say goodbye to a place we had come to call our own.

We crossed the wooden bridge that brought us across the wetlands to the foot of the hill, then decided on the white gravel path that slowly inclined up to the top of the hill, instead of the usual steep narrow dirt path we took in daylight. The gravel reflected the bright waxing moon, lighting our way. Every so often we stopped to look up at the stars and trace constellations. We saw a big star that didn’t twinkle next to the moon. Is that Venus?

We reached the top of the hill and settled on a park bench overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The ocean sparkled. Two buoys danced their lights in the distance. There was no one else but us on land or on sea.

The cool wind brought me into Jay’s arms. He was wearing a thick hooded coat with a fuzzy lining. I snuggled in and kissed him. His mouth warmed me. My hands wandered down to his button fly, searching for something hot and hard. He stood up to helped me find it, unbuckled and unbuttoned, so I could put it in my mouth.

His cock was like hot cocoa on a winter night. I took it in all the way into my throat and rubbed it on the soft tissues of my mouth. Jay covered my head with his warm fuzzy hoodie as I sucked on him. My mouth got wetter as I pushed his engorged cock deeper and deeper into my throat. I was so hungry. I wanted to swallow him whole.

I stopped for a second to look up at him. He smile lit up like a moon. I wanted some of that.

I unbuckled and unbuttoned and unzipped and pulled my jeans off my butt. I rested my knees on the bench and bent holding on to the backrest. Jay pulled my hips to him and directed his cock into my ass. Hot and hard, his fucking warmed me up from the inside. I lay my face closer to the back of the bench, clutching hard as he pounded my ass, both of us making heat while mooning the frigid waves behind us.

“You have a choice,” Jay whispered behind my ear. “I could cum in your mouth or I could cum in your ass.”

My mind reeled. I was lost in ecstasy and Jay reminded me of his urgency. A mouthful of cum straight out of my anus? Easier to clean up but… letting him cum up my ass and keep fucking me while he cums… I was cumming myself. I could feel the wave coming and it was getting stronger and stronger as it approached.

“Cum in my ass,” I whimpered. “Keep fucking me, don’t stop!”

He joined my orgasm, my big wave elevated by his. I half expected a great wave to come up behind us and take us away. We held each other as the wave passed shaking us out of our skin and bones, held each other till we were spent on the hill.

Neither of us had any tissue paper or napkins. I squatted by a shrub and holding my jeans and panties out of range, let out a piss. Jay pissed over another spot and we both laughed at totally unprepared and spontaneous the moment had been. The cool wind quickly dried me so I could compose myself before heading back downhill.

As we hiked back down I pointed out something huge and yellow on the horizon. Is that Venus? It couldn’t be a boat, unless it was on fire. It was Venus, its light amplified by Earth’s atmosphere as it set on the horizon of the Pacific Ocean, sending us off on our next life.

May Ling Su at Mavericks, see the whole set at MAYCAM

We’re moving. So there, it’s out. We’re packing our things into storage so we can hop on a plane to the Philippines. But before the boxes got filled I took some photos of my favorite sexy things: my books!

Books by Anais Nin, Best Women’s Erotica edited by Violet Blue, Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille, several volumes by the Marquis de Sade, Revenge by Ellen von Unwerth, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, How to Write a Dirty Story by Susie Bright, Digital Diaries by Natacha Merritt, The Joy of Writing Sex by Elizabeth Benedict. At the top, Pink Box by Joan Sinclair.

Black Feathers by Cecilia Tan, The Sensuous Woman (and The Sensuos Man, covered in a map of Europe by my first lover, who borrowed the book from me ages ago – remember these from the ’70s?), more de Sade.

Suicide Girls by Missy Suicide, NYC Sex: How New York Transformed Sex in America by Grady Turner etc, my autographed copy of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori, New York Girls by Richard Kern, my autographed copy of XXX: 30 Porn Star Portraits by Timothy Greenfield-Sanders, and Franz von Bayros. Ever heard of him? Here are some drawings from the book:

Oooh, and cards! Olivia trading cards!

Sexy tarot cards…

… I will miss them all.

I’m in Esquire Philippines magazine – the Women issue. The article is called “From Ateneo Graduate to American Pornstar: A Dialogue With Gang Badoy.” Go get it! It’s out now.

Typically, I am the opposite of my mother. I am the Saffy to her Edina Monsoon. And Patsy? Well, that’s my dad. Patsy post-rehab, that is. My mom, though, is still her Absolutely Fabulous self. The last time I saw her she fanagled a photo opp with PNoy (Philippine President Noynoy Aquino) on a flight from SFO to Manila.

Believe me, I don’t Like being Saffy. I have moments of escape much like the decadence alluded to in the episode in Morocco. But for the most part I am a mousy girl, and I am willing to bet you wouldn’t notice me if I walked past you in broad daylight. Ok, maybe I’m not quite willing to bet the house. I do realize I have a low opinion of myself right now so let’s just bet m&m’s.

When I was in theatre school in NYC I once revealed to a group of actresses that I was thinking of getting a boob job. I was extremely self-conscious of my flat chest. I wore these horrible miracle bras from Victoria’s Secret, which not only had the uncomfortable underwire for pushing what little breasts I had upward, they also had a lot of padding to create the silhouette I wished I had. My revelation led to an afternoon of beautiful women, actresses, urging me to feel their breasts. I’ve lost sight of what point they were trying to make. Were they trying to convince me not to get a boob job by showing me that naturally full breasts can be lumpy, hard, saggy, insert unpleasant adjective here? I suppose they succeeded indirectly because I forgot all about getting a boob job and enjoyed the attention instead.

It was Jay who convinced me to ditch the padded bras. Before I dated him, I felt apprehensive when it came time to remove the bra and get in between sheets with a man. I felt like I had falsely advertised boobs where there were none. Here was a man who actually liked small breasts, and preferred them to the pendulous giganticus boobs most men tend to favor. After he posted nude pictures of me online, I learned there were more men like Jay out there. I learned I was beautiful just the way I was. I realized I didn’t need to change a thing. I set my perky nipples free.

Eventually I got my big boobs when I became a mother. They were so raging huge I couldn’t fit into any of my clothes. During the first week or so after giving birth I wore Jay’s shirts and overalls. After my breasts got used to supply and demand with my baby, they trimmed a little. I loved having big boobs. I loved being milky. Too bad I didn’t have more time to show it off back then. As my kid shed her dependence on me, I too shed the mom boobs. Now I have more time, but less boobs.

Getting naked online has helped me appreciate what I have. At every stage of my adult life I have found people who made me feel beautiful and courageous. It has shaped my perception of my body and myself. It has helped me find confidence in my real life. It has given me a little secret something to daydream about as I live the daily mundane. So I thank you for Liking me, and for helping me Like me.

I opened the door. Her luminous skin was flushed, and she had a big smile on her face. I resisted the urge to smile back. Instead I said, “You’re late,” as I ushered her in.

I knew she had been looking forward to our meeting again. She had been here before, shy at first but after a warm massage and a thorough licking she opened up to me, legs clutched around my neck boldly pushing her cunt into my mouth with a need that was greater than mine.

She stuttered out a string of excuses as I led her to the edge of my bed. I sat and patted my lap, “Bend over here.”

Suddenly silent, she stood in front of me staring like she did not quite know what I meant. I looked up at her and patted my lap again. She put her belly against my lap awkwardly. I pulled her bottom closer to me, teetering her slightly off balance, as I pulled her pencil skirt up and her panties down across her thighs.

“Do you know what happens to people who waste my time?” I asked sweetly. She swept her long dark hair across the wood floor back and forth as she shook her head no. “They get punished.”

I gave her beautiful pink butt a loud slap. She shuddered and I shuddered. Her flesh against my hand excited me, but it was her offering of submission that made my heart race. My skin tingled from my head to my toes. I struggled to stay in the moment. Each succeeding slap against her butt was an effort to gain control of my thoughts.

I grasped her arm behind her, undid the buttons on the front of her blouse, pulled a bra strap off her shoulder and slapped the freed breast till the soft round nipple got erect. She whimpered a bit, glaring up at me. I leaned over and suckled it before I went back to spanking her. Her butt was starting to get a rosy hue.

“Get down on your knees and put your hands behind your back like a good girl,” I ordered. I went to my closet and picked out a silicone dildo, one that was long but not too wide around. I wore it in a harness and sat in front of her, my shiny cock pointing at her face.

I gathered her long silky hair with both hands, piling it at the top of her head and pulling her face to my cock. She knew what to do. She opened her mouth and let me fuck it, gasping in between thrusts. At some point I must have fucked too deep into her throat because her eyes watered and her chest heaved. I pulled my appendage out and helped her onto the bed.

I fucked her. Her cunt was so wet, my cocked slipped in easily as if it was sucked into a black hole. What I would give to have felt the soft moist sensation against a real live cock. I kept fucking her because she writhed and cried underneath me, full of want. I felt inadequate. And I tried to make up for it by fucking her. Hard and crazy.

I wanted to come so bad. I wanted to spray her face with sticky semen. Instead I kept fucking her until she begged me to stop.

“Please… no more…” she cried, pushing me away. I got up, whipped my harness and cock off me, and sat on her face. I rubbed my aching cunt on her mouth until I came quickly and collapsed on the bed next to her. My head was spinning.

When I woke up she was still next to me, sleeping soundly. I expected her to be gone by now. In fact I wanted her to be gone by now. I wanted to be alone.

I put my arms around her and snuggled in. She moaned softly. She smelled like sleep.

Click photo for more.

I’m having fun posting photos from the past decade or so at MAYCAM, in preparation for the relaunch on Wednesday, July 20. It’s been an incredible journey so far. Our earliest photos seem like it was just taken yesterday. I want to get all the photos and videos I have stored in my hard drive uploaded by Wednesday, then I can concentrate on making new memories for us.

It’s going to feel so good getting all of these photos out of my baul (vault) to be seen and appreciated. Some of them have not been seen since over ten years ago.

MAYCAM invitations will go out on Wednesday, July 20. Make sure you have confirmed your subscriptions by clicking on the link in your email confirmation by the end of the day on July 19. Invitations are by email only.

For the time being, I am limiting access to 20 members. The first 20 people who complete their transactions will gain access. Gateway will be via Verotel, a very trusted and secure payment processor in the industry.

See me at MAYCAM in 3 days!