To wander in the fields of flowers,
pull the thorns from your own heart.
I have demons in my closet and they speak to me. They speak truths so true they wedge thorns so deep in my heart I reach longingly for rope. I huddle under hanging clothes and bury my head between my knees. I am worse than worthless. I am the destructor of all potential, the black cloud that sucks the marrow out of joy, the hand that turns gold into shit. I hide from you because I am ugly. No one wants to see me. If I don’t breathe… If I don’t make a sound… If I could un-exist without fanfare, without drama, without ultimate harm on the people I love.
Out of all the painful truths, there is that toxic lie: that I am alone in this world, that no one cares, that I can swallow up all my demons and destroy them by destroying me. If you understand what I’m going through, then you must recognize that lie woven into the truths.
This is me coming out of my closet. I am airing it out. These demons will have to speak to me in the light of day just as well as they speak to me in the dark. These thorns in my heart, I don’t know how to pull them out yet, but I will let pain teach me compassion.
Join me. Let’s not be alone together. You are needed.
Let me take you to another world, a world created by my words and my voice. I want to take the intimacy between writer and reader to the next level. Let me make love to you aurally. We’ll explore Eden and the ancient world together. Listen as Lilith discovers the mysteries of sex, the forbidden fruit, her free will, and the power of words.
Did those excerpts whet your appetite? That’s good, because I’m giving away free Audible audio book downloads of Lilith: Generations of Cain. Here’s a tip: If you’re not an Audible member yet, sign up for a free 30-day trial membership and they’ll give you your first audio book free. Choose Lilith: Queen of the Demons as your free first audio book, then contact me for the coupon code that lets you download Lilith: Generations of Cain for free.
In exchange I would appreciate honest reviews on Amazon, Audible, iTunes, GoodReads, or your own blog/social media channel. As a new author, and a self-published one, I can only rely on friends to help me get the word out. Reviews really help.
For Donald Trump’s eighteenth birthday, the she-demon Satrina, who appeared as his college advisor, instructed him to bring her a goat as part of his final exam. He ran around the hot streets of the Bronx, down to Chinatown and Alphabet City, all the way out to Brooklyn and Queens. Just when he had given up and was on his way back, he finally found a makeshift petting zoo at Union Square.
The young goat was surrounded by children giggling and rubbing their fat fingers in the goat’s fur. Donald whipped out a wad of cash and negotiated with the stocky Mexican man tending to the animals. The man wouldn’t budge.
“No, la cabra not for sale. For children, see?”
It was two-thirty in the afternoon and he had no time to dicker. He kicked the Mexican man in the groin, pushed the children aside, and grabbed the goat. He ran. He could hear children wailing, mothers screaming.
One of them yelled, “Police!”
He kept running as the goat bleated into his ear. He headed for a stopped yellow taxi. An old woman with a cane was carefully lifting her leg into the cab. Donald pulled her and threw her to the curb. He got into the backseat with his stolen goat and slammed the door shut.
“The Bronx!” he ordered. The driver looked at Donald’s red sweaty face, looked at the whining goat, and drove away, leaving behind a beat cop scratching his head, holding a pad of paper and pen, surrounded by the Mexican man, mothers holding toddlers, and onlookers pointing toward the fleeing taxi and the old woman bedraggled on the sidewalk.
At three o’clock on his eighteenth birthday, Donald ran into his college advisor’s office in Fordham with the goat in his arms.
Satrina stood by the window in her office. Her black hair fell shiny and full down to her tiny waist. Her eyes shined like black diamonds.
Donald hadn’t yet caught his breath. His face turned even redder. After all the trouble of bringing her a goat, he wanted to scream.
“I will not tolerate tardiness in my apprentice, Donald Trump. You’re fired.”
Anger turned into fear. Donald’s face went from red to white. The stupid goat kept fussing in his arms.
“No, no, please,” he begged. “The goat. I got you a goat. It wasn’t easy.”
“Easy? Did you think it would be easy? Of course it wasn’t easy. If it was easy, everyone would win. Everyone would be president.”
“Please, I’ll do anything,” Donald fell to his knees. “Please take me back, I beg you.”
Satrina walked away. Donald followed her, still carrying the goat with him. They entered University Church. It was dark and empty. Satrina walked up to the altar and turned to Donald. She took the goat, and for the first time the goat was quiet.
“Prove yourself to me.” Satrina handed Donald a knife with an ornately carved handle. He took the knife with shaking hands. “You know what to do.”
He focused his eyes on hers. Her face was shrouded in shadow but colored light came in through gothic stained glass windows to illuminate her eyes. She held the goat and exposed its neck to him. That poor little lop-eared goat. Its fur was so white, its nose so pink. It stuck its soft pink tongue out and licked Satrina’s finger as she held its head up.
He did it. He slit the goat’s throat. It kicked against her as she sucked on its blood.
“Quickly!” she spat at him as she handed him back the dying goat. “Drink!”
Donald sucked. He felt a surge of power in his veins. The metallic taste of blood electrified from the center of his body to the tips of his limbs. He felt a roar well up in his throat. The goat’s kicking slowed until it stopped. She pulled the dead goat off his mouth and kissed him.
They sucked blood off each other’s mouths. She laid the sacrifice down on the altar, pulled Donald’s pants down, and pulled her black pencil skirt up over her thighs.
“Fuck me,” she ordered.
“Fuck my ass! Desecrate this altar with sodomy.”
She crouched on all fours and stretched her back like an animal. He mounted her, rammed his cock into her wet cunt.
“My ass, you numbskull!” she demanded. “Fuck my ass!”
He pulled out of her dripping cunt and pushed his lubricated cock into the tight pursed mouth of her anus.
“Yesss!!!” Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, her breathy voice mumbled phrases in Hebrew, Latin, Greek, Farsi. He fucked into her until he emptied himself into her thirsting ass.
“I love you…” he cried. His voice sounded like the bleating of a dying goat.
Through the years, she guided him with every business deal, every property purchase, every decision. With her instruction, he built every Trump Tower the world over with a sub-basement.
“Your very own entrance to Sitra Ahra, where you rejuvenate your energy,” she said. No matter where in the world he is, he could come to the sub-basement of a Trump Tower, and there she would be. He never questions it. With his trust in her grows his wealth and power.
His prior marriages ended because his wives questioned his daily disappearances at three in the afternoon. Those wives did not know their place, and they had to be done away with.
Donald’s devotion is only to one. Satrina, the true Miss Universe, to whom the most beautiful women all over the world pay homage.
“My queen.” She never ages. She remains in the fullness of her beauty from the moment he met her to this moment, when he kneels naked in front of her, an aging multi-billionaire.
She digs her high heel deeper into his shoulder and pulls him toward her exposed cunt. Donald plants his mouth around her swollen clitoris and suckles like a babe. She grips his head by his hairsprayed hair and rubs the sensitive folds of her cunt around his swirling tongue. He inhales her deeply. He fills his every molecule with her. He drinks her eternal juices. She writhes and shudders with pleasure, then pushes him away from her.
“I want you to build me a large structure that extends all the way across America. Above ground it will be a wall, a border between the United States and Mexico. Underground it will be the biggest gate to Sitra Ahra.”
“Your wish is my command, my queen. When I am President…”