May Ling Su

My hot wife gets it on with another guy.

Hey, it’s Jay. It’s been a difficult month getting back into the “swing” of things. After a year in Maine visiting family, getting back to our California lifestyle has it’s ups and downs. Over the past year, May continued to stay in touch with Tom and Sam, two guys that used to join us for MFM sex. It is our biggest turn on, both May and I to team up with another guy, and give it to May from all ends at once. We used to have the luxury of playing when and where we wanted, but now that we are parents, finding any “us” time is difficult. Lounging around naked during mid day, making love, shooting porn… well… those days are over for now. Usually 10PM is when we finally have time for each other, and we are both usually a bit tired, and ready to crash by then, so finding time when we are full of energy is even more difficult.

Tom and Sam were excited to hear that we have returned to the bay area, and Sam phoned one afternoon and asked to visit. May said, come on over, and he did. We all hung out upstairs just talking, playing with our wee one, and catching up. May took Sam off to show him the house, while I watched our kid.

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This past month has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. For much of it my feelings were a foggy mess, and I needed to get to a place of resolution before I blogged about it.

Our story has been unfolding in front of your eyes for years. My sexual exploration with Jay is documented on this blog. Over the past four years, our difficulty balancing parenthood and a vital sex life as a married couple was a frequent subject of introspection. We spent a year in Maine to spend time to find ourselves within ourselves. We moved back to California to reclaim our life.

As soon as the dust settled with the move, I got a text message from Trixie asking to come and visit us. It was all very exciting, until two weeks later she informed me she was bringing a boyfriend along, someone I had never met. It became all very stressful for me. Was I expected to play with this stranger if Jay and I wanted to play with Trixie? What followed was weeks of “Why am I reacting this way? What is wrong with me? Don’t I know how to have fun anymore?”

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I love my new home. We still have a pile of boxes unopened, but everything I need is out and getting some play. Life is good. A bit busy maybe, but really good. There’s a lot to do, you know. Making my home beautiful, spending time with the people I love. We’re eating well, living well, loving well.

When I crashed my blog in July I took a little break from the internet and have been spending a lot more time in real life. It was very frustrating to lose 6 years worth of diary entries. I moped around for a couple of days, but after that I just decided I would move on. I could spend my time trying to get my xml file to load on to a new blog platform or enjoy a beautiful sunny day happening outside my window. I chose the incredibly sensuous world of the beach.

Still in the back of my mind I itched to type up silly nothings. Jay and I have been taking naughty pictures here and there, getting excited about sexy projects. This new diary will be the portal for all that fun media mayhem Jay and I get all turned on about.

I still am attached to my diary entries from 2002 to 2008, some of the entries a very emotional record of my life. I wish I could compile excerpts from my past diary archives into a book. With dirty pictures, of course. Now if only I can find a publisher or printer (for self-publishing) that would print porn…

Tonight, we’re watching Thinking XXX on TV. I’ve been seeing the previews on HBO for a few weeks now. Even caught a glimpse of my red plaid skirt. It’s on at 11:00 PM on HBO-East and then again at 2:00 AM on HBO-West.

Saturday, October 30, there’s an art opening for Timothy’s portraits at the Mary Boone Gallery, and then an After Party we were invited to… but we’re grounded here in California…

God! I wish I still lived in New York City, so if I was feeling good on that day I could just walk to the gallery, and the party… and shmooze with porn stars and rock stars with my big belly hanging out.

The doc stuck her finger in my cooch today and said my cervix hasn’t yet dilated. I’m within the full-term pocket but I still have to wait.

I have no regrets about having a baby at this time. There are so many exciting events we’re sitting out because of my pregnancy, but it’s worth it. Call me crazy but having a monkey baby is really important to me. I just know I have an amazing child inside me.

In the meantime, Jay and I are fucking like crazy people. My midwife says that oxytocin, the natural hormone that brings labor contractions on, is produced during sex. Once water breaks, though, we can’t be penetrating my cunt anymore to avoid infection. We’re just gonna have to stimulate me in other ways… and I’ve got a few ideas in mind.

I went to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Film Festival at the Mission in San Francisco. The movies were the usual “Woe is me, how hard it is to be gay in America” at worst, and a fun/funny home movie of “How the local LGBT community taught me to love myself” at best. Excuse me, but I just have to roll my eyes in boredom.

Onscreen someone was complaining about how hard it is meeting new people and trying to decide whether to tell them he’s gay or not. Now, why all this unnecessary drama? When a close friend finally came out to me after two years of knowing each other, I just said, “Of course. I knew all along.” He was shocked, “Is it *that* obvious?” I’m like, “Who cares?” Unless I’m interested in having sexual relations with someone, I just don’t feel the need to let them in on my sexual preferences.

I’m not belittling the plight of gay people all over the world. Sure, gay people get depressed, ostracized, even killed in isolated incidents. But so do straight people for one reason or another. Every one needs love and recognition, no matter what race, gender or sexual orientation. Making movies about how difficult it is to be gay only keeps gay people in their little marginalized societies. It offers no way out, no silver lining on the cloud of complaints about the injustices in our society.

Young gay filmmakers should learn from two of my favorite movies: Hedwig and The Angry Inch, and Priscilla Queen of the Desert. The fact that the characters are gay is just icing on the cake. The true substance of these two films are rooted in universal themes: the search for love in this world, and the resilience of the human spirit.

Jay just keeps making more and more of these clips… this one we call Catalina-Cam. Yes, for the first time, pornstar Catalina is behind the camera. And she is awesome at it. This clip gives you a glimpse of the San Francisco Sex Expo - at the event and behind the scenes with Max Hardcore. Can you spot the adult celebrities?

Some people like to watch fireworks on 4th of July. I prefer a well-splattered orgasm from a man’s cock. Here’s a free clip from last Sunday’s Max Hardcore shoot overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge, starring Catalina and Max Hardcore. I had front row seats, and I tell you, if you think Max’s work is intense on your TV screen, it’s even more heartpounding in the flesh.