May Ling Su

Tag: cougar

  • Protected: Pop quiz!

    This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

  • Cream pies are healthy šŸ˜‹

    Cream pies are healthy šŸ˜‹

    May Ling Su

    I got my IUD removed. šŸ‘āš”ļø It was a quick process and done before I knew it. Since it had been a year since my last period I figured that my ovulating days are probably over.

    Doc said I have a nice pink cervix, healthy inner muscles, from getting regularly fucked and cum into. I still have strong orgasms that suck up every last drop of semen I get.

    Which apparently is the best way to get natural hormone therapy. Let’s break it down:

    • Average volume of semen per ejaculation: 1.5 to 5 mL
    • Average amount of estrogen per 5 mL ejaculation: 2-3 mg
    • Average amount of progesterone per 5 mL ejaculation: 50-70 mg
    May Ling Su cervical health

    Compared to Hormone Replacement Therapy meds, that’s a lot more bang for my buck and a hell of a lot more fun.

    So let’s keep getting it, my Golden Girls! Let your body bloom well into those senior years. Keep nurturing your sexual relationships. Stay healthy and stay sexy.

    Cheers! šŸ·

    May Ling Su signature
  • Let Your Body Bloom

    Let Your Body Bloom

    I had an amazing time with journalist Ana P. Santos on her podcast titled Middle Me: Stories about Sex and Pleasure After 40. We talked about this rollercoaster ride I’m on from the moment I discovered my sexuality through decades of exploration in sex and relationships as a polyamorous pornographer.

    Of course we talk about sex. We talk about porn. We talk about relationships. But also, we talk about family. And we talk about aging and body image. Have a listen.

    Our interview is spread out over two episodes:

    Stories about Sex and Pleasure After 40

    I also love that one of my longtime MAYCAM members, who happens to be a physician, reacted to this quote from the podcast:

    “Physiologically, the reason you’re still ‘wet’ and not having issues with dryness nor menopausal symptoms is actually due to the ‘use it or lose it’ scenario. Believe it or not, i) the more skin-to-skin intercourse you have while going through menopause causes hypertrophy and healing to prevent vaginal wall atrophy (meaning if you were less sexually active, your vagina would start to atrophy); ii) high semen exposure inside the vagina stimulates high concentrations of estrogen, progesterone, and other important hormones to women. The vaginal wall and uterus absorbs estrogen 10x more effectively than if estrogen is given orally or even intravenously. Your ongoing sexual activity with vaginal creampies was doing the equivalent of prometrium (hormone replacement therapy directly to the vagina).”

    So let’s get it, my Golden Girls! We owe it to ourselves and our lovers to let our sexual experience and emotional maturity bloom well into our senior years. We are not too old to have sex. It is natural and healthy to have mind blowing sex after menopause.

    Cheers! šŸ·

    May Ling Su signature

    P.S. I made you a playlist for tonight. Gaze at the total lunar eclipse super flower moon while listening to these moon tunes on Spotify. šŸŒø

  • Is there sex after 40?

    Is there sex after 40?

    After “Is there life on Mars?” Gen-X women are asking google about sex. I answered some of them, but before you proceed, I want to remind you that I am not a doctor, sex therapist, or sex educator. My answers are based on my own personal experience of fucking a lot and fucking up a lot. Read on at your own risk.

    How much sex should a 40-year-old woman have?

    Throw “should’s” out of the window. Have as much or as little sex as you want. This includes self-pleasure.

    How does your sex drive change at 40?

    Every body is different. For me I became hyper-sexual, like I felt like I had to use it or lose it, like I was going to run out of sex appeal and I had to get as much sex as I could while I still could for fear of missing out. My husband and I were also going through a crisis in which we had to unpack all the emotional and sexual baggage that accumulated from 25 years of non-monogamous marriage while making more mistakes as we went along. (To cut a long story short, it was crazy and painful.) I am now approaching my 50s with temperance, and yes, still sexually active, but hopefully more sane about it.

    Any cures for vaginal dryness? What is a good lubricant?

    Most people would recommend lube, but I have a different take on this. I think it’s fine once in a while, but not habitually, not regularly, certainly not daily. Hear me out. Our bodies, if we are healthy and hydrated, should create as much moisture as we need. Using lube habitually may throw off our balance and trick our bodies into slowing down natural lubrication because our bodies think we are already wet enough. This also applies to moisturizers, lotions, and nutritional supplements. My suggestion to keep your vag (and the rest of your body) moist is to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Drink lots of water. Use old fashioned spit, your partner’s and yours, during foreplay. Between spit and your own pussy juice, you should be good to go. If your body is not quite there yet and you’re desperate for a good time, go for your kitchen (food-grade) coconut oil. Transfer a little bit of it to a different container, obviously, and take that to the bedroom with you. Food-grade because it’s better quality than the body product version of coconut oil. (The FDA does not regulate cosmetics and body products, including lube. That’s why I regard it with skepticism.) Good luck.

    Can you still orgasm after menopause?

    Yes, yes, yes!

    Am I too old to try ___?

    Today you’re younger than you’re ever going to be.

    – Regina Spektor

    Why canā€™t I get in the mood?

    What’s really on your mind? Stress from work-related or relationship issues can be a dampener on fun and pleasure. Deal with those issues that are weighing heavily on your mind by talking it out or writing down an action plan. Often this is enough to allow yourself to relax and enjoy intimate moments.

    Why do I get a bladder infection every time I have sex?

    Bumping privates šŸ¤£ can bring microscopic particles, microorganisms, and semen into our urethras which could cause infection. You need to pee after sex. Non-negotiable. No matter how sleepy you are, hoist yourself out of bed and go to the toilet.

    How to increase your libido.

    What makes you think that you need to increase your libido? Every body is different. Don’t judge your sexual needs against other people’s. Focus on connecting with your partner, not on how high or low your libido is.

    My partner wants to have more sex than I do.

    Have you considered opening up your relationship? Letting your partner hook up with someone else is just another way you can express love. Explore the concept of non-monogamy, figure out where your boundaries are, and communicate clearly with each other.

    How to have sex when youā€™re tired.

    Don’t. You need to rest when you’re tired. Do it when you have energy.

    May Ling Su in the attic
    Everything in this photo is over 40. See the rest of this set at maycam.com

    Ingat,

    May Ling Su signature
  • Slut Stats

    Slut Stats

    It’s three days before the new year (and the new decade). I was going through my period tracker app, which I also use to log my sexual encounters, and realized that I have been faithfully logging data in it since July of 2010.

    This is not a new concept. Since the dark ages, the nuns in my Catholic school taught us to keep a calendar in our sex ed class. They handed out blank graphs for charting our vaginal discharges and basal body temperature. I’ve been logging my cycles and sexual encounters right alongside writing in my diary since.

    My teen cycles were unpredictable. Although I was sexually active at 15, it was a good thing I wasn’t having intercourse yet at that time or I would have been a wreck constantly worrying about whether I was pregnant. I got my first p-in-v at the age of 20 and birth control soon after. I quit birth control at the age of 30 and became pregnant within a couple of months. When my cycles resumed about 8 months after birth, my body was so in tune with the moon. Let’s start with my mom-bod numbers:

    • From July 2010 to November 2013 my cycles were between 26 to 34 days long, an average of 27 days.
    • December 2013 was a blue moon with two periods. My first cycle was 19 days long, followed by a normal 26-day cycle. It coincided with my first New England winter. From then on I had off-cycles once or twice a year, usually extra long cycles during the winter.
    • 2017 I got extra long cycles in the summer months: 52 days, 47 days, 52 days… in addition to 49 days in the winter. This coincided with getting fitted with an IUD in the spring, which I did because my previous off-cycles were stressing me out. I had been sexually active with multiple partners and no birth control prior.
    • 2018 became even more irregular: ranging from 16 days in May to 51 days in June, average of 32 day cycles.
    • 2019 is the year of very long cycles: ranging from a normal 28 days in February to a whopping 80 days that spanned my entire summer. My average cycle is now 47 days. One word: perimenopause. This is the beginning of the end.

    As for sexual encounters, my app has a limitation of only one Yes/No tab per day. I usually have partnered sex more than once a day. I entered more detailed information in the Notes section, but it isn’t quantified by the app, so although I have the data, the numbers are not pre-crunched for me. Even so I hope you like numbers because I’m about to hit you with my slut stats:

    • I had sex 303 days out of 365 in 2019. I had 1 primary partner for most, if not all, of the 303 days I had sex in 2019. 4 partners I had repeated sexual encounters with throughout the year. Another 4 partners I had only one sexual encounter with in 2019, but had encounters with prior. That’s a total of 9 partners, all male. I had no female partners in 2019, no new partners.
    • I had sex 277 days out of 365 in 2018. I had a total of 10 partners, 9 male and 1 female. No new partners.
    • I had sex 316 days out of 365 in 2017. I had a total of 24 partners: 1 primary, 11 male repeats, 8 male one-time encounters, 2 female repeats, 2 female one-time encounters.
    • I had sex 245 days out of 366 in 2016. I had a total of 25 partners: 1 primary partner, 3 men I had sex with in the previous year that I had repeated sexual encounters with in 2016, 10 new partners with whom I had repeated sexual encounters with throughout the year, 8 male one-time sexual encounters, 2 female repeats, 1 female one-time encounter.
    • I had sex 220 days out of 365 in 2015. I had a total of 20 partners: 1 primary partner, 1 man I had sex with in the previous year that continued in 2015, 4 new partners that I had repeated sexual encounters with in 2015, 9 male one-time encounters, 5 of them were in a gangbang.
    • I had sex 190 days out of 365 in 2014. I had a total of 3 partners: 1 primary partner, 1 male partner I had sex with once but had sex with him before, 1 new male partner I had sex with repeatedly throughout the year.
    • I had sex 215 days out of 365 in 2013. I had a total of 2 partners: 1 primary partner and 1 male partner I’ve had sex with for years prior. This was the year we moved from California to the North East.
    • I had sex 246 days out of 366 in 2012. I had a total of 4 partners: 1 primary partner and 2 new male partners, 1 new female partner.
    • I had sex 110 days out of 365 in 2011. I had a total of 4 partners: 1 primary partner, 1 male partner I’ve had sex with for years, 1 male one-time encounter, 1 female one-time encounter.
    May Ling Su bends over in tiny ruffled bed shorts and a warm white sweater.

    Only 2 partners are non-binary. The rest are cisgender. Don’t even ask me to do the math for my lifetime tally of partners.

    I definitely grew sluttier in the years 2015 to 2017. Maybe it’s the long New England winters. Maybe it’s me hitting my forties and feeling like I’m about to run out of my fuckable years. I grew a bit more sane in the past couple of years, but it’s still way more partners than I ever had in California during my thirties and New York in my twenties.

    I’ve contracted an STI only once in my lifetime: chlamydia in 2016, after my gangbang in December of 2015. Fucking Christmas present, huh? It cleared up with a round of antibiotics.

    I gave every single one of my partners orgasms each time, but in the past decade only 4 of my partners had ever made me cum. Most of my orgasms I gave myself.

    My primary partner accounts for almost all of the days I had sex because he was present whenever I’ve had sex with others, even though he may not always be in the same room. It’s very rare that I don’t touch base with him after an encounter with someone else, and then you can guess what happens when I get back together with him. More sex. So really, multiply the number of days with at least 2 and you’ll get an estimate number of times I had sex each year.

    Your turn. Don’t worry, I’m the last person who will judge. And honestly, anyone who reads my blog shouldn’t have any business judging either. So tell me, how often do you have sex? How many partners?

    Love, Lust, and Liberty,

    May Ling Su signature
  • Mothering Nature

    Mothering Nature

    Not gonna lie, I struggled with this year’s Birthday Nude. The entire process was discomforting. I found myself being hypercritical of my aging body. I booted up my images in Lightroom and moved the texture slider all the way to the left to smooth out my spongy middle. I sent the images to Photoshop and cloned my wrinkles and belly folds away. Then in a fit of frustration I closed them all up unsaved.

    For the Birthday Nude series to stay relevant in the years to come I’m going to have to post these photos unedited as I always have or I won’t do them at all.

    If I continue, I will have to confront my naked self, not just my aging body. My emotional reactions reveal so much of who I am. Posting it publicly adds another layer of confrontation. I will have to ask myself the hard questions. How do I feel? Why do I feel this way? Do I feel shame? What am I ashamed of?

    I have come to an age when I am proud of who I am and where I’m at in life. That doesn’t mean I look at my body with rose-colored glasses. As someone who has spent decades creating media with my body, I can look at images of myself with objectivity.

    In these photos I wear nothing but make-up. I have not given in to temptations of botox or cosmetic surgery. Yet. Maybe never. I don’t know. No judgement on those who do. I haven’t dyed my hair since four months ago and I’m liking the streak of gray growing out of the right side of my hairline.

    I enjoyed celebrating my birthday this year. I feel like I’ve been celebrating for weeks now, random presents, time spent with people I adore.

    I look at my healthy, beautiful, smart, and talented daughter and feel successful as a mother. Mothering my child has been top priority for the past fifteen years. Everyone and everything else took the back seat. It’s worth it. I invested my time and energy wisely. Now I’m opening myself up to mothering more of the world.

    My co-parent, business partner, artistic collaborator, lover, my Man. How I love my Man. We’ve been through so much, good times and nightmarish ones. For so long I’ve taken him for granted, thinking he doesn’t need my mothering because he’s eight years older than me, bolder than me, everything more than me. I was wrong. We’re holding on for dear life and rediscovering who we are to each other at each stage of the game.

    College boy somehow slipped in as one of my favorite people on this planet. We’ve known each other for years and he knows most sides of my compartmentalized life. During those moments when my Man was too emotionally involved in the situation to be my friend, my boy took me in his arms and told me heā€™s got me. I take care of him, too.

    And you… I appreciate you. Thank you for coming along on my journey.

    May Ling Su birthday nude
    May Ling Su birthday nude in the barn hayloft, sitting on a vintage World War II army cot.

    This year marks my 20th birthday nude. We shot at home. The photo above was taken in the barn hayloft, an amazing play space when it’s warm enough. It’s a reminder to seize the moment. Winter is coming. Life goes by way too fast. My time is limited. Soon we will have to leave our 169-year-old haunted farmhouse that we’ve made even more haunted with vintage treasures. I’m a little sad to go, but excited to begin once more.

    The photo above was taken in the backyard, lush with wildflowers and this abundant hydrangea bush. Itā€™s a sanctuary for birds, bees, and butterflies. Snakes and mice. Chipmunks and squirrels. The best approach to mothering nature is to let it be wild (also applies to mothering humans).

    This past year Iā€™ve been spending a lot of time in nature, hiking up mountains and swimming in lakes. This summer I participated in a podcast with Agam, for which they paid me by planting four trees in my name. I intend to plant more trees every year for the rest of my life as part of my legacy.

    Cheers! šŸ·

    May Ling Su signature

  • What makes you feel like a baddie?

    What makes you feel like a baddie?

    Most respectable, kind, decent people want to occasionally break out of their goody two shoes and be bad. We all have our guilty pleasures. Naughty lingerie under prim and proper office clothes, a basement dungeon within a house with a white picket fence, a secret porn site… what’s yours? What makes you feel like a baddie?

    We explore a forbidden fantasy in my new movie, N-Truder, now showing at MAYCAM.

    This Valentine’s Day, I wish you someone you can share the best of you with, who lets you act out your worst, and who accepts you for the disgusting pig that you are. šŸ˜˜

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,

    May Ling Su


  • Yasss, twitter.

    Yasss, twitter.

    It’s 20 days till my birthday and those of you who’ve known me for at least over a year know what that means. Every year on my birthday I take a nude photo to celebrate being born naked, yes, but also it’s a record of how my body has changed through the years. This year will be my 19th annual birthday nude. 19!!! Some of you weren’t even born yet when I started taking these nudes.

    If you want to send me a present (I love presents!) I’m going to add items to my wishlist on Amazon daily to give you an idea of what makes me smile. The presents I added today have something to do with this little anecdote I’m about to share with you, so go take a peek at my wishlist, then come back for the rest of this post.

    Did you see it? Alright, here goes…

    I was driving a long winding road in the White Mountains and singing along to The Breeders – All Nerve turned up really loud.

    I won’t stop! I will run you down!

    Suddenly a red fox crossed the road right in front of me, waving its pretty white tail. My heart slowed, then sped up, then pounded hard. The fox stopped to look back at me before it disappeared into the woods past the other side of the road, oblivious to how awestruck I was by its wild beauty.

    My giddiness ended abruptly when I saw police lights in my rearview mirror. Shit. I turned The Breeders down. I stopped, reached for my registration out of the glove compartment, my license out of my purse. The cop was at my window faster than I expected him to be.

    “Hi, officer! Did you see that fox?” I handed him my documents.

    “Yeah!” He smiled, looked over my license and registration. He looked pretty good himself. Young country cop, sexy navy blue uniform, bright ginger hair.

    “I’ve never seen a fox in broad daylight before,” I kept talking, spread my legs nonchalantly, gave the cop a view of my smooth creamy thighs, black lacy panties peeking out of a black miniskirt printed with little yellow sunflowers. “Have you, officer?” I looked up at him expectantly.

    He grinned. “No, not like this one.”

    There was nothing on either side of the road but forests. There wasn’t a house for miles. I felt vulnerable, excited, scared. I think he did, too. He didn’t look like the type of cop who would routinely abuse his power. He seemed like a model citizen, with his high school sweetheart wife and 2.5 kids, a house with a white picket fence. The kind of guy who goes to his small town church on Sundays. Also the kind of guy who may not get a chance to act out his basest fantasies, ever, much less with an experienced woman of exotic origin.

    I wondered what it would be like to suck his cock. Was it pink like his cheeks? Was he waiting for me to make a bolder move? Or would I scare him the way a bold move may scare a wild animal? How would he react to fear? Is it worth it to find out?

    His gun sat silently in its holster.

    “Slow down on these roads a bit, okay?” He handed my documents back and was gone as quickly as he showed up at my car window.

    Sometimes life only gives us a chance to connect in the briefest of moments. In big cities we brush up against so many people, overwhelm our senses with music and food and media, and grow numb. Out there on a lonely road in the middle of the woods, my nerves tingled.

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,
    May Ling Su

  • Sexy Asian Auntie Visits the Farm

    Sexy Asian Auntie Visits the Farm

    Uncle Tim came home with a dead deer in the back of his truck. There was already one hanging upside down in his barn, but it was his brother’s. Uncle Tim is the man when it comes to field dressing deer. I remember a few Thanksgivings back when he bagged a hermaphrodite deer. He called it “queer deer” (pronouncedĀ kwee’ yah dee’ yah around these parts). I took photos, asked questions, no judgement. Uncle Tim seemed to enjoy my company. He entertained my questions and didn’t mind me taking pictures. I’d been in the family a long time but I know I’ll always be foreign to him.

    A 14-year-old niece asked my advice on modeling, photography, and how to get her swollen lip to go down. She had gotten a piercing above the left side of her lip. Last summer she also asked my adviceĀ on eyebrow issues; first when she had shaved them off, drawn them on with a pencil, and given her face a surprised look; then when she had drawn them so thick they looked sharpied on. She may have found a happy medium with the eyebrows since then. Or maybe I didn’t notice on account of her fat lip.

    “I brought my homemade mini pumpkin pies. Gluten-free!” I offered her. IĀ made a batch every year.

    “Oh my god, I love you!” She hugged me as she stuffedĀ one in her mouth.

    16-year-old Dylan also came up for a hug. He had grown from a chubby boy with Freddie Mercury teeth to a young man with short blonde hair, braces, and a hot bod! Call me a perv, but his good looks are not lost on me. The hug felt good. I walked right into his arms. He wrapped them around my back and squeezed.

    “Auntie May, would you like to see my football videos?” he asked.

    I glanced at his mother, an overweight blonde woman a few years younger than me but looking haggard. She sat on the other side of the room, clutching at her yappy little pomeranian, while she sobbed about her dog that died last summer. Her pomeranian upchucked a piece of turkey right onto one of the guests. A ruckus of cleaning up and apologies ensued.

    “Sure!” I sat on the couch next to him as he pulled up junior varsity football game videos on his laptop. I became self-conscious of my minidress being a tad too short. His fingers tapped on his muscled thighs, dangerously close to mine. We watched his videos together. I heaped praise on his moves and watched him blush.

    I’m aware of my “sexy auntie” status. Being asian and married to a white man makes me an “other” in his family; a hot exotic creature they can fix their fantasies on without feeling incestuous. I kinda like it. It feels good to be desired.

    And when I’m alone with my man I tell him I’m going to hire Dylan to mow our lawn this summer. I’m going to watch him peel his sweaty shirt off as he pushes the lawnmower around our backyard. I tell him I’m going out in a sheer little sundress, no bra, no panties, to bring the boy an ice cold lemonade. I whisper all the many naughty things I’m going to do. Whether I actually do it or not is beside the point. It makes my man hard to hear about it. It’s our connection together on a fantasy so immediate and so naughty that matters.

    Did you have a sexy auntie when you were growing up? What fantasies did you have of her? Tell Auntie May all about it.

    Love, Lust, and Liberty,
    May Ling Su