Tag: slut
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Summer Wrap Up
Read an excerpt from Lilith: Beyond the Deluge I’ve had a relaxing summer, spending time outdoors and swimming in a nearby lake in between finally finishing writing Lilith: Beyond the Deluge.
It’s been several years in the making and I’ve had the most difficult time writing it. It is inspired by ancient Mesopotamian lore, like the first two books in the Lilith series. I drew inspiration from the flood accounts in the book of Genesis, the epic of Gilgamesh, and the Puranas, as well as the book of Inanna. Then I took (a lot) more creative license to fill in what seems like a simple children’s bedtime story.
It is a supernatural and occult fantasy, a genre I love to read. I took the pressure off myself to make erotica. I let the characters speak through me and only wrote sex scenes when the story called for it. The result was incredibly organic, connected, and hot sex scenes, as you can expect from a slut like me who writes from experience. I poured a lot of my life, not just sex, into the stories that make up Lilith: Beyond the Deluge. It is the most personal volume in the Lilith series. I can’t wait to share it with you.
Today I begin recording and producing the audiobook. Stayed tuned for a Scorpio season release.
Love, Lust, and Liberty,
P.S. A little social round up:
Earlier in the summer I did a little survey on gas prices around the world and learned that Singapore pays for it the most!
When navigating good vs. evil, bring a popsicle to keep you hydrated.
Can you tell that I love hammocks? Here is another one.
Also ICYMI I went on an early morning ride in a hot air balloon. It was exhilarating! An unforgettable experience that made me fantasize about a hot air balloon gang bang 1500 feet above the ground.
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Cream pies are healthy 😋
I got my IUD removed. 🍑⚡️ It was a quick process and done before I knew it. Since it had been a year since my last period I figured that my ovulating days are probably over.
Doc said I have a nice pink cervix, healthy inner muscles, from getting regularly fucked and cum into. I still have strong orgasms that suck up every last drop of semen I get.
Which apparently is the best way to get natural hormone therapy. Let’s break it down:
- Average volume of semen per ejaculation: 1.5 to 5 mL
- Average amount of estrogen per 5 mL ejaculation: 2-3 mg
- Average amount of progesterone per 5 mL ejaculation: 50-70 mg
Compared to Hormone Replacement Therapy meds, that’s a lot more bang for my buck and a hell of a lot more fun.
So let’s keep getting it, my Golden Girls! Let your body bloom well into those senior years. Keep nurturing your sexual relationships. Stay healthy and stay sexy.
Cheers! 🍷
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Let Your Body Bloom
I had an amazing time with journalist Ana P. Santos on her podcast titled Middle Me: Stories about Sex and Pleasure After 40. We talked about this rollercoaster ride I’m on from the moment I discovered my sexuality through decades of exploration in sex and relationships as a polyamorous pornographer.
Of course we talk about sex. We talk about porn. We talk about relationships. But also, we talk about family. And we talk about aging and body image. Have a listen.
Our interview is spread out over two episodes:
I also love that one of my longtime MAYCAM members, who happens to be a physician, reacted to this quote from the podcast:
“Physiologically, the reason you’re still ‘wet’ and not having issues with dryness nor menopausal symptoms is actually due to the ‘use it or lose it’ scenario. Believe it or not, i) the more skin-to-skin intercourse you have while going through menopause causes hypertrophy and healing to prevent vaginal wall atrophy (meaning if you were less sexually active, your vagina would start to atrophy); ii) high semen exposure inside the vagina stimulates high concentrations of estrogen, progesterone, and other important hormones to women. The vaginal wall and uterus absorbs estrogen 10x more effectively than if estrogen is given orally or even intravenously. Your ongoing sexual activity with vaginal creampies was doing the equivalent of prometrium (hormone replacement therapy directly to the vagina).”
So let’s get it, my Golden Girls! We owe it to ourselves and our lovers to let our sexual experience and emotional maturity bloom well into our senior years. We are not too old to have sex. It is natural and healthy to have mind blowing sex after menopause.
Cheers! 🍷
P.S. I made you a playlist for tonight. Gaze at the total lunar eclipse super flower moon while listening to these moon tunes on Spotify. 🌸
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Is there sex after 40?
After “Is there life on Mars?” Gen-X women are asking google about sex. I answered some of them, but before you proceed, I want to remind you that I am not a doctor, sex therapist, or sex educator. My answers are based on my own personal experience of fucking a lot and fucking up a lot. Read on at your own risk.
How much sex should a 40-year-old woman have?
Throw “should’s” out of the window. Have as much or as little sex as you want. This includes self-pleasure.
How does your sex drive change at 40?
Every body is different. For me I became hyper-sexual, like I felt like I had to use it or lose it, like I was going to run out of sex appeal and I had to get as much sex as I could while I still could for fear of missing out. My husband and I were also going through a crisis in which we had to unpack all the emotional and sexual baggage that accumulated from 25 years of non-monogamous marriage while making more mistakes as we went along. (To cut a long story short, it was crazy and painful.) I am now approaching my 50s with temperance, and yes, still sexually active, but hopefully more sane about it.
Any cures for vaginal dryness? What is a good lubricant?
Most people would recommend lube, but I have a different take on this. I think it’s fine once in a while, but not habitually, not regularly, certainly not daily. Hear me out. Our bodies, if we are healthy and hydrated, should create as much moisture as we need. Using lube habitually may throw off our balance and trick our bodies into slowing down natural lubrication because our bodies think we are already wet enough. This also applies to moisturizers, lotions, and nutritional supplements. My suggestion to keep your vag (and the rest of your body) moist is to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Drink lots of water. Use old fashioned spit, your partner’s and yours, during foreplay. Between spit and your own pussy juice, you should be good to go. If your body is not quite there yet and you’re desperate for a good time, go for your kitchen (food-grade) coconut oil. Transfer a little bit of it to a different container, obviously, and take that to the bedroom with you. Food-grade because it’s better quality than the body product version of coconut oil. (The FDA does not regulate cosmetics and body products, including lube. That’s why I regard it with skepticism.) Good luck.
Can you still orgasm after menopause?
Yes, yes, yes!
Am I too old to try ___?
Today you’re younger than you’re ever going to be.
– Regina SpektorWhy can’t I get in the mood?
What’s really on your mind? Stress from work-related or relationship issues can be a dampener on fun and pleasure. Deal with those issues that are weighing heavily on your mind by talking it out or writing down an action plan. Often this is enough to allow yourself to relax and enjoy intimate moments.
Why do I get a bladder infection every time I have sex?
Bumping privates 🤣 can bring microscopic particles, microorganisms, and semen into our urethras which could cause infection. You need to pee after sex. Non-negotiable. No matter how sleepy you are, hoist yourself out of bed and go to the toilet.
How to increase your libido.
What makes you think that you need to increase your libido? Every body is different. Don’t judge your sexual needs against other people’s. Focus on connecting with your partner, not on how high or low your libido is.
My partner wants to have more sex than I do.
Have you considered opening up your relationship? Letting your partner hook up with someone else is just another way you can express love. Explore the concept of non-monogamy, figure out where your boundaries are, and communicate clearly with each other.
How to have sex when you’re tired.
Don’t. You need to rest when you’re tired. Do it when you have energy.
Everything in this photo is over 40. See the rest of this set at maycam.com Ingat,
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When I think of home…
I think of tropical monsoons and coconut trees swaying in the furious wind. I think of guavas and mangoes and spiders as big as a man’s palm.
I think of the hot California valley, swimming pools, and strawberry fields as far as I can see.
I think of New York city streets, libraries and museums and theatres and cafes.
I think of a Victorian mansion with a view of the Manhattan skyline. I think of art, antiques, and taxidermy. I think of bohemians and decadence.
I think of a California cottage by the bay, overrun by ivy. I think of dot-com days and swinging nights. I think of friends on the futon.
I think of a home by the lagoon. I think of ducks and geese and my baby. I think of young buff men fucking my thirsty mom body.
I think of a little red cabin by a Maine lake. I think of being underwater all summer.
I think of a modern cottage on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, surfers on the beach below, sand constantly between my toes.
I think of an old farmhouse and barn in Maine. I think of ghosts and absolution.
You are my home and I am yours.
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I’ve lost track of what day it is. Or what time.
Some days I am insatiable. I crave sex and sensation to remind myself that I’m alive. Other days I lose myself in the abstract world, the pages of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or the chaos of the internet. I forget I am flesh and blood until my head throbs and my stomach rumbles.
I suspect you feel the same way, caught in a pendulum of not-life and not-death. Without a routine, the distraction of jobs, and constant societal demands, we are forced to contend with the real questions. What is life about? What is my purpose? Is it the apocalypse out there or an elaborate lie? If you think we’re living in a dystopia now, it’s important to note that some people in other parts of the world have been living a version of hell for a long time. What is my part in all of this?
Drink your water, bitch.
Take a shower or a bath.
Get some fresh air.
Breathe.
Get enough sleep.
Bring an end to these endless days and nights without you… 🎵🎶 pic.twitter.com/yd3XmTZw57
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) April 23, 2020Love, Lust, & Liberty,
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Slut Stats
It’s three days before the new year (and the new decade). I was going through my period tracker app, which I also use to log my sexual encounters, and realized that I have been faithfully logging data in it since July of 2010.
This is not a new concept. Since the dark ages, the nuns in my Catholic school taught us to keep a calendar in our sex ed class. They handed out blank graphs for charting our vaginal discharges and basal body temperature. I’ve been logging my cycles and sexual encounters right alongside writing in my diary since.
My teen cycles were unpredictable. Although I was sexually active at 15, it was a good thing I wasn’t having intercourse yet at that time or I would have been a wreck constantly worrying about whether I was pregnant. I got my first p-in-v at the age of 20 and birth control soon after. I quit birth control at the age of 30 and became pregnant within a couple of months. When my cycles resumed about 8 months after birth, my body was so in tune with the moon. Let’s start with my mom-bod numbers:
- From July 2010 to November 2013 my cycles were between 26 to 34 days long, an average of 27 days.
- December 2013 was a blue moon with two periods. My first cycle was 19 days long, followed by a normal 26-day cycle. It coincided with my first New England winter. From then on I had off-cycles once or twice a year, usually extra long cycles during the winter.
- 2017 I got extra long cycles in the summer months: 52 days, 47 days, 52 days… in addition to 49 days in the winter. This coincided with getting fitted with an IUD in the spring, which I did because my previous off-cycles were stressing me out. I had been sexually active with multiple partners and no birth control prior.
- 2018 became even more irregular: ranging from 16 days in May to 51 days in June, average of 32 day cycles.
- 2019 is the year of very long cycles: ranging from a normal 28 days in February to a whopping 80 days that spanned my entire summer. My average cycle is now 47 days. One word: perimenopause. This is the beginning of the end.
As for sexual encounters, my app has a limitation of only one Yes/No tab per day. I usually have partnered sex more than once a day. I entered more detailed information in the Notes section, but it isn’t quantified by the app, so although I have the data, the numbers are not pre-crunched for me. Even so I hope you like numbers because I’m about to hit you with my slut stats:
- I had sex 303 days out of 365 in 2019. I had 1 primary partner for most, if not all, of the 303 days I had sex in 2019. 4 partners I had repeated sexual encounters with throughout the year. Another 4 partners I had only one sexual encounter with in 2019, but had encounters with prior. That’s a total of 9 partners, all male. I had no female partners in 2019, no new partners.
- I had sex 277 days out of 365 in 2018. I had a total of 10 partners, 9 male and 1 female. No new partners.
- I had sex 316 days out of 365 in 2017. I had a total of 24 partners: 1 primary, 11 male repeats, 8 male one-time encounters, 2 female repeats, 2 female one-time encounters.
- I had sex 245 days out of 366 in 2016. I had a total of 25 partners: 1 primary partner, 3 men I had sex with in the previous year that I had repeated sexual encounters with in 2016, 10 new partners with whom I had repeated sexual encounters with throughout the year, 8 male one-time sexual encounters, 2 female repeats, 1 female one-time encounter.
- I had sex 220 days out of 365 in 2015. I had a total of 20 partners: 1 primary partner, 1 man I had sex with in the previous year that continued in 2015, 4 new partners that I had repeated sexual encounters with in 2015, 9 male one-time encounters, 5 of them were in a gangbang.
- I had sex 190 days out of 365 in 2014. I had a total of 3 partners: 1 primary partner, 1 male partner I had sex with once but had sex with him before, 1 new male partner I had sex with repeatedly throughout the year.
- I had sex 215 days out of 365 in 2013. I had a total of 2 partners: 1 primary partner and 1 male partner I’ve had sex with for years prior. This was the year we moved from California to the North East.
- I had sex 246 days out of 366 in 2012. I had a total of 4 partners: 1 primary partner and 2 new male partners, 1 new female partner.
- I had sex 110 days out of 365 in 2011. I had a total of 4 partners: 1 primary partner, 1 male partner I’ve had sex with for years, 1 male one-time encounter, 1 female one-time encounter.
Only 2 partners are non-binary. The rest are cisgender. Don’t even ask me to do the math for my lifetime tally of partners.
I definitely grew sluttier in the years 2015 to 2017. Maybe it’s the long New England winters. Maybe it’s me hitting my forties and feeling like I’m about to run out of my fuckable years. I grew a bit more sane in the past couple of years, but it’s still way more partners than I ever had in California during my thirties and New York in my twenties.
I’ve contracted an STI only once in my lifetime: chlamydia in 2016, after my gangbang in December of 2015. Fucking Christmas present, huh? It cleared up with a round of antibiotics.
I gave every single one of my partners orgasms each time, but in the past decade only 4 of my partners had ever made me cum. Most of my orgasms I gave myself.
My primary partner accounts for almost all of the days I had sex because he was present whenever I’ve had sex with others, even though he may not always be in the same room. It’s very rare that I don’t touch base with him after an encounter with someone else, and then you can guess what happens when I get back together with him. More sex. So really, multiply the number of days with at least 2 and you’ll get an estimate number of times I had sex each year.
Your turn. Don’t worry, I’m the last person who will judge. And honestly, anyone who reads my blog shouldn’t have any business judging either. So tell me, how often do you have sex? How many partners?
Love, Lust, and Liberty,