May Ling Su

Tag: goddess

  • What’s your poison?

    What’s your poison?

    I put on the antlers Jay bought me a few days ago. It made me happy to run around naked in the woods behind our house where many a herd of deer have passed through. I keep a pile of fruit and vegetable scraps at the edge of the wood year round, but winter is when the wild life need it most.

    I hiked to the top of this cliff. Jay took my photos from the bottom of the rocky hill.

    I went down on all fours like a beast, waving my invisible tail side to side. When I descended he covered me with his arms and told me I was beautiful.

    We made love tenderly at first, then dirty, like animals. He filled me and filled me and filled me until I oozed delirious and he was spent.

    I washed up, got dressed, and picked up our kid from school. I slid to the passenger seat to let her drive us home.

    “How was your day?” I asked. She paused before she told me she had a weird day of not much happening in her classes, then at study hall her friend messaged to say that his dad died. He wasn’t ill. He just died. My daughter seemed deeply affected by that. It hit her hard to think that any day, without warning or indication, she could lose either one of her parents, too.

    I took a proactive role and said that we should go get food for her friend’s family. We got a whole rotisserie chicken, a vegetable side dish, and yellow chrysanthemums. I told my daughter to text her friend to ask if we could come over with some food. He said yes.

    By the time we got out of the grocery store, it was pouring really hard. My daughter drove in the rain to her friend’s house. It was a long way to Hope, which is the next town over from ours. She turned into a dirt road and up a hill. At the top of the hill is her friend’s house. His family had moved here from Illinois just a year ago. The car parked outside still has Illinois plates. Who knows what situation they are in now without the father?

    My daughter wanted me to come along with her. She is so shy, my kid. We put on our masks and walked up to the house.

    Her friend answered the door. He looked tired. His eyes were red and puffy.

    “I’m so sorry,” I said, as I handed him the paper bag full of food.

    He said, “None of us feel like cooking.”

    “We figured,” I said. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t know what was right anymore. We ran back to the car to get out of the rain.

    When we got home, my daughter baked me a birthday cake while Jay and I made dinner. We talked about life and love. We told stories and laughed. Underneath it all was the thought that death comes for us all, sooner or later. The question isn’t when, it’s how.

    Find what you love and let it kill you.

    Attributed to Charles Bukowski

    We all get to pick our poison. Some people choose alcohol, drugs, sugar. Others have an obsession with thinness and beauty. Then there are those whose passion becomes a poison, revolutionaries, workaholics, lovers of all kinds.

    Jay always said he wanted a beautiful woman to kill him. She could be me, killing him slowly, one headache, one heartache, at a time. If my life was a painting, I’ve already messed up the canvas, made many mistakes and accumulated regrets for inaction. It’s time to pull together all the loose ends, the painful lessons, the dark memories of my life and transform it into a beautiful work of art.

    That night, as I blew out the candles on my birthday cake, I wished for more time to love him the way he wants to be loved as a unique and extraordinary human. I’ve only just begun to learn how.

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,

    May Ling Su signature

    P.S. See the full photo set at MAYCAM.

  • Strange Things

    Strange Things

    Shortly after Lilith: Queen of the Demons was published Jay and I became friends with a young woman named Lillian. She had straight black hair down to her waist, an hourglass figure, and a pretty smile. She used to visit weekly, always dressed impeccably from head to toe. She and Jay spent a lot of time together, cooking and baking all kinds of goodies. They were friends and sometimes they were lovers.

    When Lillian was a baby in Vietnam, she suffered a fire injury that required her to undergo surgery. The operation left her without a belly button for the rest of her life. Just like Lilith, who was not born of a human mother, fashioned out of clay by God.

    It was uncanny and I thought it auspicious to have her in our lives. There was a point when she began looking for a house to buy in which we could all live together, but it all changed when she met someone else. They got married in a whirl. We never saw her again.

    I will always consider her arrival as an otherworldly presence. The divine moves in mysterious ways. I cannot begin to fathom it. I can only be thankful when it happens.

    Lilith book series on audiobook, kindle, paperback by May Ling Su

    Another strange visitation occurred when I was recording the audiobook for Lilith: Generations of Cain. I didn’t notice it while I recorded, but during playback the angel and demon names were obscured by static.

    The first time it happened I got a shiver down my spine. I took a pause, then went back in front of the microphone like a soldier. Every time it happened I got more stubborn and determined to get through the text. Lilith: Generations of Cain is all about the power of names. It seemed to me that a presence, divine or not, was making me work hard to pronounce these holy and unholy names.

    This past summer as I worked on Lilith: Beyond the Deluge, I was on a business call with someone who went off tangent about strange situations he had found himself in, seeing supernatural creatures among people in New York City, hearing people’s thoughts from across the room. He said he felt like he could tell me these things he never told anyone. I listened to him for an hour before I wrapped up the conversation and brought it back to business. I asked for his name.

    “Michael.”

    “You have an ‘el’ name,” I mused. Many of the angels (and some demons) have names that end with ‘el.’ Azazel, Samael, Rafael, Gabriel, Baraqiel, Daniel, Michael…

    “Ah, so you know…” He sounded pleased. “It comes from God’s name ‘El Shaddai’ and ‘Elohim.’”

    I thanked him again and said goodbye.

    Before he hung up he said, “You will hear from me again.”

    I thought nothing of it. Even when I pulled out of the garage and saw a crow sitting in a tree across from me I didn’t think to tie anything together.

    I should mention that it was a special day, my Dad’s birthday and my (great grand aunt) Lola Ilyang’s death day. I facetimed with my Dad that evening, but the only way I connected with Lola Ilyang was from mysterious events that happened all day: a swarm of bees robbing my hive, the phone call from an angel, the crow in the tree. Everything brought me memories of her.

    Laurelia (Lola Ilyang) was a spinster who lived with her little dachshund, Cupsi, in a hut in the middle of a tobacco field in Pangasinan. She was the first witchy woman in my life. She had long salt and pepper hair. She told stories of the kapre smoking her tobacco. She entertained our maids by reading common playing cards for divination.

    Ten days after the odd phone call, my mother tagged me in a Facebook post. My college friend died. Deogracias Cruz. Is there a name more God-like than his? The Facebook post contained a video of Deo singing the Prayer to St. Michael.

    “Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.”

    The man on the phone said I would hear from him again. I did not know it would be this way.

    That afternoon Jay invited me out to the temple he had built in our backyard, overgrown with yarrow and lupines in the spring; tansy, mint, and goldenrod in the late summer. Jay spent the summer clearing around an arrangement of rocks and made paths to it. He decorated the place with Hindu gods and goddesses, Balinese wooden animals, and a statue of Quan Yin. There is a bed of marbles of various sizes, a solar system at the foot of a wooden frog. A Nag Champa cone burned and dripped smoke down a path in the rocks. As soon as the incense burned out, it started to rain. Thunder. We went inside.

    I made chicken soup from scratch. It’s a long process that begins with boiling a chicken carcass into broth. My daughter named it “Mama’s famous chicken soup” way back when a butcher in California used to gift me with chicken carcasses whenever I came around his shop. I set aside a wishbone for my collection. I keep several wishbones in a little teapot. I realize it’s kind of witchy but it makes me feel lucky.

    Deogracias. Thank You, God.

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,

    May Ling Su signature

  • I got stung.

    I got stung.

    It doesn’t hurt anymore, though. Good to know I’m not allergic, just feeling stupid and sorry that my fierce little honeybee had to die to teach me a lesson. There is nothing I can do to bring her back, no offering or apology. All I can do is learn from experience. I should not have gone into the middle frames at all. Delicate stuff, making babies. It’s life or death in there. I should have respected their inner chamber. That’s where the magic happens.

    One month since my bees moved in and they are a thriving busy hive. I’ve seen a drone, a male whose only job is to fuck the Queen with his endophallus, pop off into her Queen V, then die shortly after. A queen typically gets gangbanged and creampied by up to 20 drones in an afternoon. It’s enough cum for her to lay eggs the rest of her life.

    Queen Puabee is productive and beautiful! Her all-female worker bees are attentive and protective. When I went into the two middle frames a small army attacked me. I was wearing a beekeeping veil and jacket, but one of the worker bees stung my thigh right through my skinny Levi’s. I suck at making a smoker so I had no smoke and I don’t want to smoke my bees out anyway, so I walked about twenty feet off and lit my smoker again and surprisingly it worked and I smoked myself out until the bees left me. Then I went back, closed their hive back up, and filled their feeder with simple syrup.

    Just two weeks earlier on the 14th day beehive inspection, they weren’t as fiercely protective yet. Get a glimpse of Queen Puabee in this video — she is marked with blue paint on her thorax — and listen to me get all excited about larvae.

     

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,

  • You can call me Queen Bee.

    You can call me Queen Bee.

    I’ve wanted this for so long and now I finally did it. I set up a beehive.

    There were about 15,000 bees and Queen jammed in this traveling box for 1,500 miles. Tired and hungry for days, they were in no mood to be shaken and pounded out, even if it was into a more spacious hive where I had over half a gallon of sugar syrup waiting for them.

    I couldn’t have done this without you and your support of my projects, so congratulations to you, too. WE STARTED A BEEHIVE!

    I will be checking in on the queen in a few days to make sure she is feeling sexy in her new home. I’ve named her Queen Puabee, after the Sumerian Queen Puabi of the First Dynasty of Ur.

    May Ling Su Queen Bee Bhramari Devi by Mani C. Price
    Queen Bee Bhramari Devi painting by Mani C. Price

    I’ve been keeping our two acres lush and inviting to pollinators and other wild creatures for years. I’m confident that there will be plenty of nectar for everybody.

    It might still be a long time before I see some honey. This early stage is all about my girls building the combs for Queen Puabee to lay eggs. Once they make honey I’ll have to make sure they have enough to survive over the winter. So much to learn but I’m really excited to do it.

    Wish me luck.

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,

  • I’ve lost track of what day it is. Or what time.

    I’ve lost track of what day it is. Or what time.

    Some days I am insatiable. I crave sex and sensation to remind myself that I’m alive. Other days I lose myself in the abstract world, the pages of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or the chaos of the internet. I forget I am flesh and blood until my head throbs and my stomach rumbles.

    I suspect you feel the same way, caught in a pendulum of not-life and not-death. Without a routine, the distraction of jobs, and constant societal demands, we are forced to contend with the real questions. What is life about? What is my purpose? Is it the apocalypse out there or an elaborate lie? If you think we’re living in a dystopia now, it’s important to note that some people in other parts of the world have been living a version of hell for a long time. What is my part in all of this?

    May Ling Su drinks her water in bed wearing blach thigh high tights

    Drink your water, bitch.

    May Ling Su in igorot tapis drinks water

    Take a shower or a bath.

    Get some fresh air.

    Breathe.

    Get enough sleep.

    Love, Lust, & Liberty,

  • Nature Lover

    Nature Lover

    Last summer I had a lovely time over Skype with Padmapani Perez and Rev. Joseph Santos-Lyons, hosts of Agam the Climate Podcast. They posted my interview and reading of my piece Power Couple for their Valentine’s Day episode.

    Have a listen on Spotify. We dish about the process of writing my piece in the book, Agam. I talk about the Lilith series and feminism. I share lifestyle changes I’ve made toward lowering my carbon footprint and mothering children who will continue to take care of our planet. I feel a little sheepish now listening to myself talk about Greta Thunberg as if no one has ever heard of her, but this was before she sailed across the Atlantic and became a climate change superstar so ignore my over-explaining who she is and enjoy the rest of the conversation.

    The folks at Agam honored me with four tree seedlings for this interview and I couldn’t be more proud of it.

    Toward the end of the interview Padma asked what I foresee for the adult industry in the face of climate change and I gave a vague answer about being able to adapt as we always have, which is true. The adult industry has always been an early adopter and on the forefront of trends and tech. But here is a more specific way porn is addressing environmental crises.

    Sexecology, a form of environmental activism by porn performance artist Annie Sprinkle and her partner, Elizabeth Stephens, combines education and activism in live performances to get people to care for the earth the way one cares for a lover.

    Perhaps you’ve been skinny dipping, had sex in the great outdoors, and fucked yourself with vegetables. I have. I’ve eaten fruit so good they made me moan. I’ve straddled tree trunks and hugged their limbs. Rain and snow, lightning and thunder puts me in a horny mood.

    What about you? The natural world is a sensual delight. Tell me about your erotic experience in nature. What do you do to let her know you love her?

    May Ling Su nude in the woods

    Love, Lust, and Liberty,

    May Ling Su signature

  • Love & Sex in the Chinese Year of the Rat

    Love & Sex in the Chinese Year of the Rat

    In old Chinese culture, the Rat was considered a symbol of fertility, as well as one of abundance. Let’s see if the Year of the Rat promises a whole lot of love and sex for you.

    If you don’t already know which of the 12 zodiac animals you belong to, check the wheel below for the animal that corresponds to your birth year. If you were born on the month of January, it might get a little tricky for you. Since the Chinese go by the Lunar Calendar, the earlier part of January goes under the previous year’s sign. If you were born during the latter half of January, here’s a Chinese Animal Zodiac Sign Calculator to find out exactly what your sign is.

    May Ling Su chinese zodiac sign

    Now that we’ve got that sorted, let me give you my Love & Sex Predictions for each zodiac sign.

    Rat: 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020

    This may be your year, but you will face many struggles in your relationships. Stay positive through difficult times. Confront issues directly with tact. Have fun, but not at the expense of your health. Your body is your temple. Love yourself. Meditate.

    Most compatible signs: Ox is that strong sexy complement to your personality. Dragon and you have a lot in common. Monkey makes you so giddy happy.

    Least compatible: Don’t hitch your wagon on Horse. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. Goat just wants your money. Rabbit can’t help but do the opposite of what you want. Beware!

    Ox: 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021

    Communication is key for you this year, as it is always. Listen and pay attention. Your partner may turn to someone else if you are unwilling to see things beyond your own point of view. Surprise yourself by trying new things in bed.

    Most compatible signs: Rat balances your rigid personality. Snake is romantic and supportive of your work. Rooster will love you with loyalty.

    Least compatible: You will clash with Goat. Horse has too much of a free spirit to take you seriously. You have nothing in common with Dog. Don’t waste your time.

    Tiger: 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022

    Keep your friends with benefits close. It may turn to something more, but not this year. Go on blind dates with no expectations. If you are already partnered, be genuine but show your best self always.

    Most compatible signs: Pig may be your opposite but you can really be yourselves with each other. Horse is irresistible to you. Dog brings out your gentle side.

    Least compatible: Monkey and you will always argue. A relationship with Snake will be full of suspicions and coldness. Stay away.

    Rabbit: 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023

    Peach blossom luck is with you this year. You are irresistible! Everyone has the hots for you, particularly that one you’ve been lusting on for the last few months. Make your move! Watch out for betrayal or jealousy from someone close to you. Don’t get distracted from what you want in love and life.

    Most compatible: Dog will be happy to live a peaceful life with you. Pig and you have a lot in common. Goat needs you and you love taking care of that horny Goat.

    Least compatible: Rooster and you will argue about the littlest things. Dragon and you may seem like you have a lot in common but alas, you two clash. Rat is tricky, too, because it will take time before differences between you will appear and by then, it will be impossible to agree on anything.

    Dragon: 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, 2024

    Luck in career is on your side this year. Don’t worry about putting love and sex off to the sidelines for the moment to focus on growing your career. Prioritize your personal growth. Independence is essential to a healthy relationship.

    Most compatible: Rooster worships you and will do anything for you. Monkey and you are a creative explosion together, just watch out for Monkey’s tricks. Rat’s humor and reliability attracts your stubborn nature.

    Least compatible: You and Dog can’t understand or trust each other. Rabbit and you have similarities, but you can only tolerate each other to a certain point. You also clash with other Dragons. There can only be one!

    Snake: 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025

    Explore the mucky muck of your emotions this year. Knowing and loving yourself is the foundation of strong relationships. You can’t share what you don’t have so nurture yourself, keep the fire of your desires alive, share it uninhibitedly with your partner.

    Most compatible: Monkey and you have similarities. You admire Rooster’s good taste and ability to avoid getting eaten up by you. Ox grounds you and is a reliable anchor.

    Least compatible: Tiger is too suspicious and cold. Pig will tolerate you, but can’t trust you. I mean, you’re a Snake! And admittedly, Pig is good eatin’!

    Horse: 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014, 2026

    Pay it forward this year with random acts of kindness. Consider taking dance classes to get in touch with your body in new ways. Bonus points for taking partnered dancing classes, such as the tango. Remember to bring the lessons of the dance floor to bed with you.

    Most compatible: Goat’s tenderness will make you feel content. Tiger will try hard to win you. Dog will be your loyal partner.

    Least compatible: Rat will clash with you. Save yourselves the pain. Ox will be difficult to communicate with. Other Horses are great to work with but too similar to be compatible in love.

    Goat: 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015, 2027

    If you are single, this year is for a few one-time flings or short-term relationships in between long periods of being alone. Don’t worry about it. Focus on your friendships. If you are partnered, how about an exotic vacation to reignite your senses out of ordinary life?

    Most compatible: Horse makes up for your shortcomings, and vice versa. Rabbit is dependable. Pig is warm and gentle.

    Least compatible: Ox and you can be so stubborn and uncompromising. Rat and you easily misunderstand each other. Dog and you have very few things in common.

    Monkey: 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016

    You are a beacon of fun and intelligence. You will have your pick of partners and have a swinging time. If you are already partnered, your relationship will be rock-solid this year, and even though it won’t be that exciting, you’ll barely notice.

    Most compatible: Snake is either your hottest lover or your coldest foe. Rat cheers you up like no other. Dragon inspires you.

    Least compatible: Tiger will fight you constantly. Pig doesn’t have the same interests and life goals as you.

    Rooster: 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017

    This year will have plenty of opportunities for hookups for you. It could be any moment, so make sure you’re ready. Stay clean and well-groomed at all times so you make a positive impression. Partnered cocks may find interest outside of your current relationships. Consider polyamory.

    Most compatible: Dragon’s accomplishments make you proud and you love to boost from behind. Snake gets you, your life and dreams. Ox is honest and a steady partner.

    Least compatible: Rabbit has contrasting opinions that clash with yours. Dog and you can tolerate each other but it’s always tense. Who wants to live with all that tension? Other Roosters fight with you often and can’t compromise. Don’t get caught in a constant cockfight.

    Dog: 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018

    You are warm and friendly. Relationships come naturally for you. If you are single, love is already within your close circle of friends. Sniff it out and cuddle up. Partnered dogs will stay in strong relationships. In moments of weakness, focus on the good in your partner.

    Most compatible: Rabbit is kind and supportive. Tiger is reassuring and needs your loyalty. Horse understands and respects you.

    Least compatible: Dragon and you are distrustful of one another. You will have intense arguments with each other. Ox and you have dissimilar interests. Goat and you tolerate each other, but that’s it.

    Pig: 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019

    You will have the best luck in love and sex out of all the signs this year. Go with this mojo. Be open about your sexual preferences, your kinks, your turn-ons. They can’t love you if they don’t know you. Be unapologetically yourself and you will attract the partner/s you need.

    Most compatible: Tiger is brave and makes you feel secure. Rabbit wants to snuggle up and bask in your intelligence. You have a lot of common interests with Goat.

    Least compatible: Snake will eat you alive. A relationship with Monkey will be full of tension.

    Was my prediction for your zodiac sign helpful? Let me know in the comments what your sign is and what your love & sex game plan is going to be on this Year of the Metal Rat. Good luck to you!

    Love, Lust, and Liberty,

    May Ling Su signature
  • Mothering Nature

    Mothering Nature

    Not gonna lie, I struggled with this year’s Birthday Nude. The entire process was discomforting. I found myself being hypercritical of my aging body. I booted up my images in Lightroom and moved the texture slider all the way to the left to smooth out my spongy middle. I sent the images to Photoshop and cloned my wrinkles and belly folds away. Then in a fit of frustration I closed them all up unsaved.

    For the Birthday Nude series to stay relevant in the years to come I’m going to have to post these photos unedited as I always have or I won’t do them at all.

    If I continue, I will have to confront my naked self, not just my aging body. My emotional reactions reveal so much of who I am. Posting it publicly adds another layer of confrontation. I will have to ask myself the hard questions. How do I feel? Why do I feel this way? Do I feel shame? What am I ashamed of?

    I have come to an age when I am proud of who I am and where I’m at in life. That doesn’t mean I look at my body with rose-colored glasses. As someone who has spent decades creating media with my body, I can look at images of myself with objectivity.

    In these photos I wear nothing but make-up. I have not given in to temptations of botox or cosmetic surgery. Yet. Maybe never. I don’t know. No judgement on those who do. I haven’t dyed my hair since four months ago and I’m liking the streak of gray growing out of the right side of my hairline.

    I enjoyed celebrating my birthday this year. I feel like I’ve been celebrating for weeks now, random presents, time spent with people I adore.

    I look at my healthy, beautiful, smart, and talented daughter and feel successful as a mother. Mothering my child has been top priority for the past fifteen years. Everyone and everything else took the back seat. It’s worth it. I invested my time and energy wisely. Now I’m opening myself up to mothering more of the world.

    My co-parent, business partner, artistic collaborator, lover, my Man. How I love my Man. We’ve been through so much, good times and nightmarish ones. For so long I’ve taken him for granted, thinking he doesn’t need my mothering because he’s eight years older than me, bolder than me, everything more than me. I was wrong. We’re holding on for dear life and rediscovering who we are to each other at each stage of the game.

    College boy somehow slipped in as one of my favorite people on this planet. We’ve known each other for years and he knows most sides of my compartmentalized life. During those moments when my Man was too emotionally involved in the situation to be my friend, my boy took me in his arms and told me he’s got me. I take care of him, too.

    And you… I appreciate you. Thank you for coming along on my journey.

    May Ling Su birthday nude
    May Ling Su birthday nude in the barn hayloft, sitting on a vintage World War II army cot.

    This year marks my 20th birthday nude. We shot at home. The photo above was taken in the barn hayloft, an amazing play space when it’s warm enough. It’s a reminder to seize the moment. Winter is coming. Life goes by way too fast. My time is limited. Soon we will have to leave our 169-year-old haunted farmhouse that we’ve made even more haunted with vintage treasures. I’m a little sad to go, but excited to begin once more.

    The photo above was taken in the backyard, lush with wildflowers and this abundant hydrangea bush. It’s a sanctuary for birds, bees, and butterflies. Snakes and mice. Chipmunks and squirrels. The best approach to mothering nature is to let it be wild (also applies to mothering humans).

    This past year I’ve been spending a lot of time in nature, hiking up mountains and swimming in lakes. This summer I participated in a podcast with Agam, for which they paid me by planting four trees in my name. I intend to plant more trees every year for the rest of my life as part of my legacy.

    Cheers! 🍷

    May Ling Su signature

  • Dear Idiot, or Why I Won’t Reply to your Email, PM, DM, Snap, etc.

    Dear Idiot, or Why I Won’t Reply to your Email, PM, DM, Snap, etc.

    Mail time!

    I’m posting this email because it is the most articulate of many along the same vein of the classic one-liner “Hey.” This one really nails the motivation behind unsolicited dick pics:

    Hello May Ling,

    I hope you are well. I know it sounds a unrealistic to imagine that I would actually receive a reply from you but at least there is spark of hope if I write you again.  I wrote you a couple of weeks ago and you were kind enough to send me links to your website and some adult content, but I am really just interested in you as a person.  I am not suggesting that we meet in person or exchange photos or any type of webcam interaction but just an exchange of ideas and a little more insight into your fascinating mind.

    Thanks,
    Ray

    The truth is you don’t really want an insight into my mind. If you did, you would be a MAYCAM member. You would have bought and read my books. You would be subscribed to my blog and following me on social media.

    What you want is my attention. My time devoted to only you. A virtual mind space where we can be alone together.

    I get it. You don’t want to be just another “like” in the social media crowd, just another subscriber, just another passive reader. You want me to respond to you. You want to be visible. You want me to validate your existence as a unique and special individual.

    So you send me email and private messages.

    You don’t realize that you are being selfish. You want me to spend time on you, but you’re not willing to pay.

    It took me years to figure it out. I was treating myself like just another internet marketer peddling adult content in a saturated market and competing against younger, more beautiful, smarter women for your attention. I was paying it forward, giving away porn and passwords. I wore myself out trying to answer “Thanks for accepting my friend request. What do you like about me?” until it hit me:

    Hey, Ding Dong. I don’t want anything you have to sell. I just want your soul!

    Holy shit!

    My time and attention is a limited supply. The demand for it easily exceeds what I have to go around. By the laws of supply and demand alone, my time and attention is worth more than yours. I can’t just give it away to anyone who sends me an email or private message. Special mention to the dude who sent me a long rambling talking head video then called me rude when my response was short.

    If you want my attention, earn it.

    Become a MAYCAM Member. It’s my personal diary, in which I share the ups and downs of every cock and pussy I’ve had the pleasure to meet, my innermost thoughts, my naughtiest secrets. MAYCAM Members get my attention because they take care of me, support me, invest in me. All the cherry blossoms go to my MAYCAM Members.

    And then some more cherry blossoms for you if you…

    Buy my books. Review them on Amazon or GoodReads or your own social media channel. You have no idea how much that means to me.

    Buy something from my Wishlist or send me an Amazon gift card. I may surprise you back.

    Sign up for my May Ling List. Comment on my blog entries on the blog. Follow me on social media. Like, share, retweet, and comment on my posts. Public displays of your affection for me contribute to the furtherance of my brand. I see you. I appreciate it.

    May Ling Su cherry blossoms

    Until then, my time and attention belong to the people who recognize its value enough to bring me value in return. Many have been doing it for years. Get in line.

    Love, Lust, and Liberty,

    May Ling Su