Tag: nude
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Rainy Birthday Nudes
I had a rainy birthday, so Jay suggested that we recreate our very first photo shoot, Rainy Day Girl. He let me borrow his 100+ year old coat tails, handed me a frog umbrella, and followed me around our backyard with a camera. Tracing our steps back to the first time we played with a camera together was as refreshing as the misty autumn air. It reminded us both of that electric excitement we felt when we first started dating and collaborating.
It’s been over 25 years since Rainy Day Girl. We’ve accumulated deeply scarring emotional baggage as well as amazing memories of profound connection. I am grateful for all of it. I open myself up for more. At some point during our rainy day frolic in the backyard I got down on a bed of wet autumn leaves on the ground. Sometimes the only way to create beauty is to get dirty.
Celebrate my birthday nudes with me.
Love, Lust, and Liberty,
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Summer Wrap Up
Read an excerpt from Lilith: Beyond the Deluge I’ve had a relaxing summer, spending time outdoors and swimming in a nearby lake in between finally finishing writing Lilith: Beyond the Deluge.
It’s been several years in the making and I’ve had the most difficult time writing it. It is inspired by ancient Mesopotamian lore, like the first two books in the Lilith series. I drew inspiration from the flood accounts in the book of Genesis, the epic of Gilgamesh, and the Puranas, as well as the book of Inanna. Then I took (a lot) more creative license to fill in what seems like a simple children’s bedtime story.
It is a supernatural and occult fantasy, a genre I love to read. I took the pressure off myself to make erotica. I let the characters speak through me and only wrote sex scenes when the story called for it. The result was incredibly organic, connected, and hot sex scenes, as you can expect from a slut like me who writes from experience. I poured a lot of my life, not just sex, into the stories that make up Lilith: Beyond the Deluge. It is the most personal volume in the Lilith series. I can’t wait to share it with you.
Today I begin recording and producing the audiobook. Stayed tuned for a Scorpio season release.
Love, Lust, and Liberty,
P.S. A little social round up:
Earlier in the summer I did a little survey on gas prices around the world and learned that Singapore pays for it the most!
When navigating good vs. evil, bring a popsicle to keep you hydrated.
Can you tell that I love hammocks? Here is another one.
Also ICYMI I went on an early morning ride in a hot air balloon. It was exhilarating! An unforgettable experience that made me fantasize about a hot air balloon gang bang 1500 feet above the ground.
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Love & Sex in the Chinese Year of the Water Tiger
Happy New Year! The Water Tiger symbolizes courage, strength, and renewal. But when it comes to love and sex, it is important to exercise tact, reserve, and care when expressing your affection. Respect your lover and respect yourself. Be mindful of what is essential. Don’t be distracted by momentary disagreements. Life is short. Memento mori. Choose love.
If you don’t already know which of the 12 zodiac animals you belong to, check the wheel below for the animal that corresponds to your birth year. If you were born on the month of January, it might get a little tricky for you. Since the Chinese go by the Lunar Calendar, some or all of January goes under the previous year’s sign. Here is a Chinese Animal Zodiac Sign Calculator to find out exactly what your sign is.
Do you know which animal zodiac sign you are? Then let me give you my Love & Sex Predictions for the coming Year of the Water Tiger.
Rat: 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020
Dear Rats, you will need all the luck you can scrounge up on this Year of the Water Tiger. Single Rats, play the field and hold off on making any commitments. Partnered Rats will need to work hard on relationships. Be more attentive to your lover’s needs. Watch for verbal and non-verbal cues for what would turn your lover on. Wear lucky colors red and blue to channel some good luck your way.
Most compatible signs: Ox is that strong sexy complement to your personality. Dragon and you have a lot in common. Monkey makes you so giddy happy.
Least compatible: Don’t hitch your wagon on Horse. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. Goat just wants your money. Rabbit can’t help but do the opposite of what you want. Beware!
Ox: 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021
Ox, your perseverance in the previous year will be rewarded soon. If you are single, keep your eyes peeled for The One and seize the moment. Wear lucky color yellow to boost your confidence. You got this. If you are partnered, you can expect a harmonious relationship this coming year, as long as you curb that tendency to overwork. Resist the idea that simply plowing your lover in bed late at night is sufficient. Be diligent in your foreplay to earn your reward.
Most compatible signs: Rat balances your rigid personality. Snake is romantic and supportive of your work. Rooster will love you with loyalty.
Least compatible: You will clash with Goat. Horse has too much of a free spirit to take you seriously. You have nothing in common with Dog. Don’t waste your time.
Tiger: 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022
Tigers, get ready for passion, intimacy, and juicy romance this year. If you are single, don’t be surprised if you suddenly get all kinds of hot sexy attention. If you are partnered, there will be a deepening of emotional understanding between you. Want to explore a new aspect of your sexuality? Trust that your partner will go there with you. Wear orange and black to make the most of that powerful Tiger energy.
Most compatible signs: Pig may be your opposite but you can really be yourselves with each other. Horse is irresistible to you. Dog brings out your gentle side.
Least compatible: Monkey and you will always argue. A relationship with Snake will be full of suspicions and coldness. Stay away.
Rabbit: 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011
Rabbits, what have you been hiding? It’s time to confess the passion and emotion in your heart to that special someone or you just might watch them disappear from your life. If you are partnered, you may want to spice things up but make sure you exercise care in how you express it. Assure your lover how much you care and want to share excitement together. Wear purple to increase your luck in love.
Most compatible: Dog will be happy to live a peaceful life with you. Pig and you have a lot in common. Goat needs you and you love taking care of that horny Goat.
Least compatible: Rooster and you will argue about the littlest things. Dragon and you may seem like you have a lot in common but alas, you two clash. Rat is tricky, too, because it will take time before differences between you will appear and by then, it will be impossible to agree on anything.
Dragon: 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012
Dragons, the Year of the Water Tiger will be a roller coaster ride of sexual exploits and experiences. Remember not to get too caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. Focus on improving communication for both single and partnered Dragons. Wear white to clarify your intentions. If you speak to your lover with respect, tact, and care, you can pretty much get everything you want.
Most compatible: Rooster worships you and will do anything for you. Monkey and you are a creative explosion together, just watch out for Monkey’s tricks. Rat’s humor and reliability attracts your stubborn nature.
Least compatible: You and Dog can’t understand or trust each other. Rabbit and you have similarities, but you can only tolerate each other to a certain point. You also clash with other Dragons. There can only be one!
Snake: 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013
Snakes, the Year of the Water Tiger will throw many unexpected twists your way. Partnered Snakes may get into misunderstandings. Single Snakes may be tempted to tangle with complicated ex-es. Stay grounded. Be clear about your motives. Put that sexy tongue to good use when speaking and when pleasuring your lover. Wear tangerine for luck.
Most compatible: Monkey and you have similarities. You admire Rooster’s good taste and ability to avoid getting eaten up by you. Ox grounds you and is a reliable anchor.
Least compatible: Tiger is too suspicious and cold. Pig will tolerate you, but can’t trust you. I mean, you’re a Snake! And admittedly, Pig is good eatin’!
Horse: 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014
Horses, stop overthinking and let your heart lead the way. Single horses end the loneliness this Year of the Water Tiger. Open yourself up to your sensual nature. If you are partnered, appreciate the effort your partner puts into your relationship and reciprocate! Go for a sexy ride together, maybe even a jaunt in the great outdoors. Feel the wind in your mane and the muscles in your body. Wearing red and blue is good for you.
Most compatible: Goat’s tenderness will make you feel content. Tiger will try hard to win you. Dog will be your loyal partner.
Least compatible: Rat will clash with you. Save yourselves the pain. Ox will be difficult to communicate with. Other Horses are great to work with but too similar to be compatible in love.
Goat: 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015
Goats, listen to the people you love. That means, family and friends. That also especially means your lover. The key to your happiness this Year of the Water Tiger lies in your ability to understand your lover’s needs. Don’t lock horns over minor disagreements. Is it really worth it? Honestly, train your ears to your lover’s voice and respond with a loving yes. Single Goats can look forward to unexpected flings this year so dress your best always (make sure your underwear is on point, too). Wear yellow for luck.
Most compatible: Horse makes up for your shortcomings, and vice versa. Rabbit is dependable. Pig is warm and gentle.
Least compatible: Ox and you can be so stubborn and uncompromising. Rat and you easily misunderstand each other. Dog and you have very few things in common.
Monkey: 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016
Monkeys, you are clearly the King and Queen of the swingers this coming year. Single Monkeys want passion and exploration, but no commitments. That’s all good as long as you communicate clearly with your fuck buddies or FWBs. That goes for partnered Monkeys as well. Trust is the currency of the swing set. Balance honesty with tact. Baby blue is your lucky color.
Most compatible: Snake is either your hottest lover or your coldest foe. Rat cheers you up like no other. Dragon inspires you.
Least compatible: Tiger will fight you constantly. Pig doesn’t have the same interests and life goals as you.
Rooster: 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017
Roosters, you are comfortable in your nest. You don’t want to change a thing. Partnered Roosters are smooth sailing. Single Roosters stay single, maybe even too preoccupied with work. But seriously, lift your head every so often and look around. Notice that one person that has been with you right from the start. That one who supports you and is there for you through thick or thin. At some point this year, you are going to have to fight for that person. Make sure you do. Wear yellow for luck.
Most compatible: Dragon’s accomplishments make you proud and you love to boost from behind. Snake gets you, your life and dreams. Ox is honest and a steady partner.
Least compatible: Rabbit has contrasting opinions that clash with yours. Dog and you can tolerate each other but it’s always tense. Who wants to live with all that tension? Other Roosters fight with you often and can’t compromise. Don’t get caught in a constant cockfight.
Dog: 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018
Dogs, take a leap of faith this Year of the Water Tiger. Let life surprise you with all its glory. Single Dogs bump into long lost friends. Partnered Dogs reignite the passion that drew them together in the first place. Take the time to reminisce about the good times. Make some new memories, perhaps even some sweet escapades to look back on with fondness. Wear an understated grey for luck.
Most compatible: Rabbit is kind and supportive. Tiger is reassuring and needs your loyalty. Horse understands and respects you.
Least compatible: Dragon and you are distrustful of one another. You will have intense arguments with each other. Ox and you have dissimilar interests. Goat and you tolerate each other, but that’s it.
Pig: 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019
Pigs, are you ready to move out of your comfort zone and reach for something new? Cast aside your doubts and take a chance on love. Trust that the stars are on your side. Single Pigs, I’m talking to you. Partnered Pigs, it is an auspicious year to tie the knot. Pigs in long term commitments, you may be curious about exploring polyamory. Communicate with care. Wear yellow for luck.
Most compatible: Tiger is brave and makes you feel secure. Rabbit wants to snuggle up and bask in your intelligence. You have a lot of common interests with Goat.
Least compatible: Snake will eat you alive. A relationship with Monkey will be full of tension.
Was my prediction for your zodiac sign helpful? Let me know in the comments what your sign is and what your love & sex game plan is going to be on this Year of the Water Tiger. Good luck to you! Roar!
Love, Lust, and Liberty,
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My Secret Life
Today is my parents’ wedding anniversary. Almost nine months later I was born, which informs me that I was either a honeymoon baby or the shotgun that made the wedding happen. I never asked. I know that whether it was through forbidden lust or wedding night excitement, I was born of passion between two young and beautiful people. I like leaving it at that.
Throughout my life I found that at my best I exude sexual power, passion, desire. I am a natural flirt. I make love to everyone I encounter in one way or another. At my worst I am ashamed to draw attention to myself. My very existence is a disgrace, a hushed up secret people whisper about while they shake their heads and click their tongues knowingly.
I was born with jaundice, so I remained at the hospital for two weeks after my birth. My parents visited me daily, but I learned that I could cry my head off and still not be held if it wasn’t on schedule. By the time I came home from the hospital my mother said that I was such a “good” baby. I never fussed. At less than a month old, I already knew how to take care of myself, not be demanding, just take what I get and don’t get upset.
I spent my childhood being the “good girl.” I truly was. I took everything I learned about Jesus and life to heart. I read voraciously. I was thoughtful, diligent, quiet. But I had a lot of questions that no one around me could answer and pretty soon I learned to silence those questions because they bothered people.
Upon reflection I realize that I’ve always had a well-developed secret life. It’s where I put all the unanswered questions, the provocative ones that most people don’t dare utter. It’s where I stored my ugly feelings, jealousy, anger, ambition. It’s where I learned about sex and desire. It’s where it was okay to be “bad.”
On the outside I continued going to church, getting good marks at Catholic school, singing at choir. I got so good at being “good,” so good at seeming good to make other people feel good. In college I got involved in theatre and it freed me. For the first time I could be “bad” and be applauded for it. I didn’t know it then but in time I noticed that I almost always got cast in sexy roles: the femme fatale mermaid, the hyper-sexual old maid, the tragic drug addicted porn star, the powerful whore… the list goes on. I inhabited these characters like my life depended on it, because for a brief moment my secret life could breathe, speak, move.
When Jay and I first started dating he saw me in one of my shows, really saw me, and helped release that secret me into the real world. It was so exciting! The badder I got, the more he liked me.
Then the internet saved many an introvert’s life, mine included. Jay and I dove head first into the web, full send. My secret life thrived online, right here on this blog that I’ve been writing since 2002. I found people I connect with: critical thinkers, sexuality explorers, creatives and geeks of all kinds. We all brought our secret lives together to create this world, one blog, one post, one tweet at a time.
This photo is from January 2002 in Las Vegas when I attended the AVN convention. I’m looking out to the Venetian hotel courtyard, naked as a newborn baby, arms outstretched taking up space. Not a care for anyone else in the world. Not a fuck given to anyone else’s opinion. Open to any and all experience. Young, bold, and stupid.
So much has happened since. Life has had its way with me, blown me up, knocked me down. It takes a little more bravery to get back up and keep going after my confidence is shaken but here I am again, standing naked looking out my window in January 2021, a little wiser for the wear, taking up space. I am still here. I am worthy.
I know where my power comes from. I trust it. I step into it. I belong here. This is my rightful place. I am worthy of this space.
Love, Lust, & Liberty,
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What’s your poison?
There were clouds and rain on the forecast but it was sunny on the morning of my birthday. Maybe a little windy, but the sun felt warm on my bare skin. https://t.co/2CZnCaACNN pic.twitter.com/fa595Z0C33
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) October 9, 2020I put on the antlers Jay bought me a few days ago. It made me happy to run around naked in the woods behind our house where many a herd of deer have passed through. I keep a pile of fruit and vegetable scraps at the edge of the wood year round, but winter is when the wild life need it most.
What’s your poison? 🍑https://t.co/m8ls0l56c3 pic.twitter.com/1jxCw7dp8z
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) October 9, 2020I hiked to the top of this cliff. Jay took my photos from the bottom of the rocky hill.
It was a perfect autumn morning. The wind prickled my skin and the sun soothed it. Pine needles on the bald rocks felt slippery under my bare feet. https://t.co/2CZnCaACNN pic.twitter.com/L69UUNw9Ly
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) October 9, 2020I went down on all fours like a beast, waving my invisible tail side to side. When I descended he covered me with his arms and told me I was beautiful.
It’s gorgeous out! Gonna get some sun time. Have a beautiful Saturday! Here’s some more from the full set of birthday nudes barefoot outdoors pics at https://t.co/urjztDkZYD 💋
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) October 10, 2020
You are the rock I
Rest my sole on your hardness
My softness yields, mmm pic.twitter.com/4Orp3wbffGWe made love tenderly at first, then dirty, like animals. He filled me and filled me and filled me until I oozed delirious and he was spent.
Every year since 1999 I take a nude photo on my birthday. It’s now a 21-year tradition that will not end in 2020. Life goes on and so will I. This year’s birthday nude is coming soon to https://t.co/2CZnCaACNN pic.twitter.com/phlSkfdPwS
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) October 8, 2020I washed up, got dressed, and picked up our kid from school. I slid to the passenger seat to let her drive us home.
“How was your day?” I asked. She paused before she told me she had a weird day of not much happening in her classes, then at study hall her friend messaged to say that his dad died. He wasn’t ill. He just died. My daughter seemed deeply affected by that. It hit her hard to think that any day, without warning or indication, she could lose either one of her parents, too.
I took a proactive role and said that we should go get food for her friend’s family. We got a whole rotisserie chicken, a vegetable side dish, and yellow chrysanthemums. I told my daughter to text her friend to ask if we could come over with some food. He said yes.
By the time we got out of the grocery store, it was pouring really hard. My daughter drove in the rain to her friend’s house. It was a long way to Hope, which is the next town over from ours. She turned into a dirt road and up a hill. At the top of the hill is her friend’s house. His family had moved here from Illinois just a year ago. The car parked outside still has Illinois plates. Who knows what situation they are in now without the father?
My daughter wanted me to come along with her. She is so shy, my kid. We put on our masks and walked up to the house.
Her friend answered the door. He looked tired. His eyes were red and puffy.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, as I handed him the paper bag full of food.
He said, “None of us feel like cooking.”
“We figured,” I said. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t know what was right anymore. We ran back to the car to get out of the rain.
When we got home, my daughter baked me a birthday cake while Jay and I made dinner. We talked about life and love. We told stories and laughed. Underneath it all was the thought that death comes for us all, sooner or later. The question isn’t when, it’s how.
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Attributed to Charles BukowskiWe all get to pick our poison. Some people choose alcohol, drugs, sugar. Others have an obsession with thinness and beauty. Then there are those whose passion becomes a poison, revolutionaries, workaholics, lovers of all kinds.
Jay always said he wanted a beautiful woman to kill him. She could be me, killing him slowly, one headache, one heartache, at a time. If my life was a painting, I’ve already messed up the canvas, made many mistakes and accumulated regrets for inaction. It’s time to pull together all the loose ends, the painful lessons, the dark memories of my life and transform it into a beautiful work of art.
That night, as I blew out the candles on my birthday cake, I wished for more time to love him the way he wants to be loved as a unique and extraordinary human. I’ve only just begun to learn how.
What’s your poison? Find what you love and let it kill you. https://t.co/2CZnCaACNN pic.twitter.com/kdvJdLBSqV
— May Ling Su (@maylingsu) October 9, 2020Love, Lust, & Liberty,
P.S. See the full photo set at MAYCAM.
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Nature Lover
Last summer I had a lovely time over Skype with Padmapani Perez and Rev. Joseph Santos-Lyons, hosts of Agam the Climate Podcast. They posted my interview and reading of my piece Power Couple for their Valentine’s Day episode.
For Valentine’s Day, listen to @maylingsu read her piece, Power Couple from Agam: Filipino Narratives on Uncertainty and Climate Change. #AgamtheClimatePodcast #AgamVoices https://t.co/cvz2ZVh6BZ
— The Agam Agenda (@theagamagenda) February 14, 2020Have a listen on Spotify. We dish about the process of writing my piece in the book, Agam. I talk about the Lilith series and feminism. I share lifestyle changes I’ve made toward lowering my carbon footprint and mothering children who will continue to take care of our planet. I feel a little sheepish now listening to myself talk about Greta Thunberg as if no one has ever heard of her, but this was before she sailed across the Atlantic and became a climate change superstar so ignore my over-explaining who she is and enjoy the rest of the conversation.
The folks at Agam honored me with four tree seedlings for this interview and I couldn’t be more proud of it.
Toward the end of the interview Padma asked what I foresee for the adult industry in the face of climate change and I gave a vague answer about being able to adapt as we always have, which is true. The adult industry has always been an early adopter and on the forefront of trends and tech. But here is a more specific way porn is addressing environmental crises.
Sexecology, a form of environmental activism by porn performance artist Annie Sprinkle and her partner, Elizabeth Stephens, combines education and activism in live performances to get people to care for the earth the way one cares for a lover.
Perhaps you’ve been skinny dipping, had sex in the great outdoors, and fucked yourself with vegetables. I have. I’ve eaten fruit so good they made me moan. I’ve straddled tree trunks and hugged their limbs. Rain and snow, lightning and thunder puts me in a horny mood.
What about you? The natural world is a sensual delight. Tell me about your erotic experience in nature. What do you do to let her know you love her?
Love, Lust, and Liberty,
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Mothering Nature
Not gonna lie, I struggled with this year’s Birthday Nude. The entire process was discomforting. I found myself being hypercritical of my aging body. I booted up my images in Lightroom and moved the texture slider all the way to the left to smooth out my spongy middle. I sent the images to Photoshop and cloned my wrinkles and belly folds away. Then in a fit of frustration I closed them all up unsaved.
For the Birthday Nude series to stay relevant in the years to come I’m going to have to post these photos unedited as I always have or I won’t do them at all.
If I continue, I will have to confront my naked self, not just my aging body. My emotional reactions reveal so much of who I am. Posting it publicly adds another layer of confrontation. I will have to ask myself the hard questions. How do I feel? Why do I feel this way? Do I feel shame? What am I ashamed of?
I have come to an age when I am proud of who I am and where I’m at in life. That doesn’t mean I look at my body with rose-colored glasses. As someone who has spent decades creating media with my body, I can look at images of myself with objectivity.
In these photos I wear nothing but make-up. I have not given in to temptations of botox or cosmetic surgery. Yet. Maybe never. I don’t know. No judgement on those who do. I haven’t dyed my hair since four months ago and I’m liking the streak of gray growing out of the right side of my hairline.
I enjoyed celebrating my birthday this year. I feel like I’ve been celebrating for weeks now, random presents, time spent with people I adore.
I look at my healthy, beautiful, smart, and talented daughter and feel successful as a mother. Mothering my child has been top priority for the past fifteen years. Everyone and everything else took the back seat. It’s worth it. I invested my time and energy wisely. Now I’m opening myself up to mothering more of the world.
My co-parent, business partner, artistic collaborator, lover, my Man. How I love my Man. We’ve been through so much, good times and nightmarish ones. For so long I’ve taken him for granted, thinking he doesn’t need my mothering because he’s eight years older than me, bolder than me, everything more than me. I was wrong. We’re holding on for dear life and rediscovering who we are to each other at each stage of the game.
College boy somehow slipped in as one of my favorite people on this planet. We’ve known each other for years and he knows most sides of my compartmentalized life. During those moments when my Man was too emotionally involved in the situation to be my friend, my boy took me in his arms and told me he’s got me. I take care of him, too.
And you… I appreciate you. Thank you for coming along on my journey.
May Ling Su birthday nude in the barn hayloft, sitting on a vintage World War II army cot. This year marks my 20th birthday nude. We shot at home. The photo above was taken in the barn hayloft, an amazing play space when it’s warm enough. It’s a reminder to seize the moment. Winter is coming. Life goes by way too fast. My time is limited. Soon we will have to leave our 169-year-old haunted farmhouse that we’ve made even more haunted with vintage treasures. I’m a little sad to go, but excited to begin once more.
The photo above was taken in the backyard, lush with wildflowers and this abundant hydrangea bush. It’s a sanctuary for birds, bees, and butterflies. Snakes and mice. Chipmunks and squirrels. The best approach to mothering nature is to let it be wild (also applies to mothering humans).
This past year I’ve been spending a lot of time in nature, hiking up mountains and swimming in lakes. This summer I participated in a podcast with Agam, for which they paid me by planting four trees in my name. I intend to plant more trees every year for the rest of my life as part of my legacy.
Cheers! 🍷